


Absolute

by Shadow15



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Child Abuse, Depression, F/M, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 15:35:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 27
Words: 44,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12171768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow15/pseuds/Shadow15
Summary: At eight years old, Bel is abducted by Squalo.  Over the years, his mind becomes so twisted by Xanxus, there's nothing left of him except for what Xanxus wants.Child abuse and triggering themes. Non-graphic. Re-written. Various





	1. Unfortunate Timing

**Author's Note:**

> Side story to Here for You.
> 
> This story has had a complete re-write; with things removed and others added in and above all, had the quality improved greatly.
> 
> Warnings for this include a broad range of child abuse which I have done my best to keep as non-graphic as possible without taking away from the story, so I apologise in advance for anything in this story that may upset anyone.

 

Walking home from school by himself was something eight-year-old Belphegor had never done before, but maybe that was because his parents loved him too much to want to risk anything happening to him. Of course, as smart as people always praised him for being, thoughts of something happening to him while he was out on the streets alone never crossed his mind; home wasn't far from school, so what was the harm in sneaking away early without telling anyone, after all?

It was strange to be completely alone; he was so used to always being with his twin brother, it was exciting to be by himself for once, and he couldn't help but hum a tune out loud as he tried to decide what he could do once he got home. Of course, his elation wouldn't be able to last forever; sooner or later his parents were going to find out about him skipping school and he was going to be in trouble, but until then, he could do what he wanted for once.

For the first time since his departure from school, he saw a car coming down the street towards him, but he didn't think much of it; people drove by all the time so it was nothing to worry about. He continued on his way, but he was so focused on his thoughts he completely missed the car doing a U-turn behind him and coming back until it had pulled up behind him.

"Hey, kid!"

Bel blinked as he turned around. He found the door to the black car was hanging open, and a silver-haired teenager was standing next to it, probably around fourteen or fifteen years old. He smiled. "Hi. What's your name?"

A smirk crossed the newcomer's face, and if Bel was more experienced in the ways of life, he might have known that the strange glint that now appeared in dark eyes was nothing but malicious intent. "What's  _your_ name?"

"Belphegor." The boy's smile remained. He didn't move as the other approached him; nothing was going to happen to him, after all. "But everyone calls me Bel. I like Bel better, anyway."

The silver-haired male's smirk only widened, and though he had opened his mouth to say something, he quickly shut it when he dropped the cell phone he had been holding. He started reaching down to get it, but as soon as Bel moved forward, his smirk turned into a nasty sneer as it became clear the lure had worked; he waited until tiny fingers had curled around the device before he lunged forward and wrapped both arms around the child so he could drag the younger into the car behind them.

"Let me g - oomph!" Bel struggled to break free, but there was nothing he could do; he was powerless against the cloth that was raised to his face, and all he could do was breathe in the scent that suddenly made him feel so drowsy, his world was going black. His body fell limp, and the teenager who had grabbed him threw him carelessly into the back of the car before he moved to get into the front passenger seat and scowl at his companion who was driving. "The fuck are  _you_ looking at?"

The driver, if Bel had been conscious to see him, would have noticed how much older the other looked to be compared to the silver-haired male; in fact, he looked like he could have been a young adult. His part of green hair hung down in front of his sunglasses, and on his face, he wore a troubled frown. He raised his hand to his mouth so he could bite at his gloved fingernails, and when he spoke, he was quiet. "Shame Xanxus asked this of us… Such a tiny boy he is…"

"Shut up, faggot," the younger growled. "You know Xanxus' orders are absolute. Could have been  _any_ kid – this one just happened to be the unlucky one walkin' alone by itself with no one around. Now fuckin' drive!"

The taller male offered a small smile, as if his anxiety had completely vanished. His voice was significantly calmer as he said, "I'll cut his hair and dress him like a girl so we can forge his passport; let's get to Japan before his disappearance becomes public."

With that said, the accelerator was depressed as the two made their getaway before anyone noticed them.


	2. Just a Taste of What's to Come

 

When Bel's eyes finally opened again, he was so overwhelmed by nausea, it took him several minutes of dry retching to finally take notice of the aching all throughout his body. He groaned loudly as he reached up to grab his hair; what had happened? The last thing he remembered was… was…

He whimpered as he realised the room he was in was  _not_ his own; had he been kidnapped? Maybe someone had found him on the street and were looking after him… Oh god, he hoped so, but the more he looked around the room, the more he knew it wasn't the case; this room was bare, with nothing but white walls surrounding him; anyone who cared about him wouldn't leave him somewhere like this…

There were fragments of memory he could recall when he thought about it, something about being on what looked to be a plane as he was fed a funny tasting glass of milk on someone's lap before it all went black again. He flinched; maybe he had just been dreaming… He hadn't been on a plane since his family had relocated to Italy four years ago!

"Mommy…" Bel could feel tears well up in his eyes, but he fought against them; he couldn't cry; not here and now when he had to find a way to get home. He rubbed at his face in distress, but it was in doing so that he realised his bangs had been chopped off. He took a sharp breath; why would someone do that to him? His bangs were so long for a reason! Now people could look him in the eye and just the  _thought_ of that almost had him hyperventilating. He felt more and more panic build up inside him as he found his school uniform had been taken from him and he was wearing a colourful dress. His eyes itched with the tears that threatened to spill, and when he reached up to rub at them, a coloured contact fell onto his lap.

"Mum…!" Bel stood up as his heart raced. He looked everywhere, not knowing what to do; did he try and leave the room? Or did he stay here? How did he get home…? Well, he wasn't going to get home if he stayed here!

He stumbled towards the door and pulled it open so he could poke his head out and look around. It looked as if he were on an upper level of a house as there was a railing just outside his door; did he make a run for it…?

Taking a deep breath, Bel forced his small legs to work as he ran as fast as he could towards the staircase, his bare feet pounding against the hard wood loudly as he did so. He had almost thought he was about to make it, having ran from the end of the corridor to just  _feet_ away from the staircase, but suddenly, someone grabbed the back of his dress and pulled him into the room he had just ran past. He whimpered loudly as he fell uselessly against someone's body.

"Xanxus, maybe you shouldn't be so rough with him."

Bel looked to where the voice had come from. On the bed across from him, a man sat with his legs folded beneath him. Beneath his part of green hair and sunglasses, he wore a stoic expression.

"You'll break him."

The man who had grabbed Bel ignored the other. He moved so quickly, the child didn't even see the fist that had come crashing into his stomach. His mouth parted as all air escaped him and a trickle of blood fell from the corner of his mouth. He coughed uncontrollably, but it was useless; the blows just kept coming and coming until he was sure he was losing more blood now than he ever had previously. His eyes closed as a hand wrapped around his throat and squeezed tightly; why was this happening to him? Why had he been taken away from his family for  _this?_ No one had  _ever_ hit him before, so why was this strange man attacking him so brutally?

Suddenly, the beating stopped, and the only sounds in the room were everyone's breathing.

"What's this?" The man – Xanxus, Bel figured – sneered. His eyes were fixed on the damp patch at the front of the dress that hadn't been there earlier. His voice was the coldest Bel had ever heard as he asked, "Did you piss yourself? Are you  _that_ scared of me?"

The boy didn't reply; he stared at the wall across from him as he cried and tried desperately to get air back into his lungs properly. He whimpered again when he felt a large hand lift the dress, exposing him to the men in the room. He crossed his legs to hide himself; why did they want to look under his clothes? His mother had always warned him about that…

Xanxus flattened the palm of his hand so he could slap Bel's face so hard, his head snapped to the side as blood flowed from both nostrils. There wasn't much expression on his face as he held Bel still with one hand and used the other to pry the boy's legs apart and grab something he should  _never_ have touched on such a young child.

Bel's eyes widened as he felt this, but no matter how hard he tried to get away, Xanxus was just too strong to break away from. He cried harder as he felt calloused fingers caress him in areas he knew were wrong; why were these actions making his body feel so weird? He  _hated_ them!

"Please…" Bel's voice sounded so broken, but it did nothing to stop Xanxus' fondling. He sniffed back tears and tried to plead again. "S-stop…"

"You little slut." Xanxus moved his hand from Bel shaft to instead press his index finger against the boy's behind. "You like this, don't you? It feels so good, doesn't it? Look how hard you are already."

Bel shook his head as he shuddered from all the sensations he didn't understand; it felt so  _good,_ but it was  _so wrong!_ It was  _all wrong!_ He was supposed to be at his home, playing videogames with his brother, or eating dinner with his family! Not  _here!_ Not with men he didn't know doing things to him he couldn't understand!

His eyes widened as he was taken by surprise at the feeling of something pushing past his ring of muscles. A scream escaped his lips, not so much of pain, but of fear;  _nothing_ was supposed to go up there, so why was this man putting his fingers in there?! Why was this making his heart beat faster than that  _assault_ had?!

Xanxus leant down so his strong body was towering over the tiny one. He crushed their lips together with force so bruising, Bel was sure his lips were about to split and spill even more blood. He smirked at the boy's thrashing beneath him, and he didn't hesitate to bite the other's bottom lip hard enough to lap up the steady streams of blood. He snaked his tongue in past the younger's and tasted every inch that was Bel's hot, wet cavern.

When he pulled away, Xanxus sneered. "You'll be  _begging_ for us to fill your slutty little hole when I'm done with you."

Bel couldn't make eye contact with this man – he just  _couldn't_. He couldn't even look in the other's general direction; all he could do was cry and shake and  _whimper_ as Xanxus finally let him go and moved away.

The other male, who had watched in silence, approached the child once the bedroom door had slammed closed behind Xanxus. His stoic expression had broken and was replaced by a frown as he reached out to pick Bel up and carry him over to the bed.

"Let me clean you up." The man reached into his pocket and withdrew a handkerchief. He wiped at the blood that was still trailing down the boy's battered face.

The only sounds that escaped Bel were the hiccups that had now started as he tried so hard to stop his tears. The shock he was in was making it hard to comprehend everything, but he was just so relieved that this man wasn't trying to hurt him like Xanxus had.

"My name is Lussuria." The other cocked his head to the side as he fished around inside his pockets in search of more handkerchiefs. "Your name is Bel, isn't it?"

Bel didn't say a word; he only dropped his head onto Lussuria's chest as exhaustion crashed over him. He started to tremble again when strong arms wrapped around him, but it wasn't like any of the other touches the others had given him; in fact, this touch was almost like his mother's; warm and comforting. He sniffed.

"Why don't we go and get you some new clothes so you don't have to look like a girl? I can put makeup on your face and no one will know what happened." Lussuria reached down so he could take Bel's hand in his own. He sighed as he still received no response. "I'm sorry, honey, but there's nothing else I can do for you. Xanxus is dangerous… He'd have had me dead before I could even blink if I tried to help you before. The best thing to do is lock away every emotion you have whenever he's around; it's easiest that way – on everyone."

Still, Bel remained silent. Lussuria sighed and ran his hand through soft blond locks; why did this have to happen…? "I'll be right back, sweetheart; let me go and get my makeup kit."

Bel was lifeless, and as much practise as Lussuria had had at locking his own heart up, he could still feel it breaking; oh, this poor,  _poor_ child…

It had taken him maybe two minutes to have gone and fetched the makeup kit, and when he had returned, Bel was still like a statue, unmoving and unseeing. He moved back to the bed so he could get everything ready.

"Honey, it might sting a little bit; you have quite a lot of open wounds on your face…" Lussuria swallowed back his emotion as he picked up the blush. "I'll try and be gentle."

Bel didn't hear anything the man said – hell, he didn't  _feel_ anything the other did to him, either. Not the makeup on his face, or even the dirty dress he was still wearing being removed and replaced with a pair of Lussuria's shorts and t-shirt. He remained lifeless as he was picked up and carried through the house and outside to a waiting car; all he could do was relive that moment with Xanxus, over and over and over again until he was sure he was losing grip of his sanity.

Now that they were both away from that mansion, Lussuria allowed his own heart to reopen fully. As they sat in traffic at a red light, he closed his eyes and sighed; why had he gone along with his boss' wishes and done something like this? He was no better than the others. In fact, he was sure it made him the worst of them all as he hadn't protested, hadn't denied his orders, and instead got his car keys and went out to the car to wait for Squalo without a second command.

It was  _his_ fault this kid was here with them, and he  _hated_ himself for it.

It was when Lussuria finally parked the car in a busy lot that he was almost startled by Bel's tentative whisper.

"Where are we…?" The buildings around them looked nothing like the ones in the busy Syracuse shopping districts he and his family had so often frequented – and the murmurs of conversation he could hear through the car window was  _anything_   _but_ Italian. Bel was afraid, and all he wanted was to  _understand_.

Lussuria got out of the car and moved to open the door for Bel. He helped the boy out to stand on his own two feet, but he held the younger's hand tightly. "I can't tell you that, sweetie. However, I can teach you some of this language – but Xanxus won't let me teach you anything you could use to tell someone what happened… I'm so sorry…"

Bel looked to his feet as he nodded. Tears pricked at his eyes again. "I want… to go home…"

"I know…" Lussuria leant down and pulled Bel into a tight hug. "I know…"

Bel returned the embrace as he sobbed, unable to turn away from the comfort; with everything that had happened, he  _needed_ a hug.

"Shh…" Lussuria's long fingers caressed the boy's cheek as he tried to bring comfort to the younger. "It's okay… I know…"

"When can I go home…?"

"…I'm sorry…" Lussuria's heart broke with his own words. "You might never go back home…"

And with that, Bel cried every tear he had in his tiny body.


	3. At Least You Tried

The next day, Bel wandered downstairs to get away from Xanxus who was stalking around somewhere upstairs. It had seemed like a good idea at first; as much distance as he could put between them, he would, but after stepping into the living room, he found himself wishing he had never left his room; downstairs was the silver-haired teenager who had brought him here and another human he could only describe as a human pin-cushion.

"Well, look who it is." The silver-haired male – now Bel realised why the other had smartly avoided giving out his name – stood up from the couch he had been sitting on.

Bel shivered and stared at his feet as the older boy circled around him like a hungry wolf sizing up its prey. "…"

"You know, I can't wait until Boss breaks you in." The teenager licked his lips as his dark eyes fixed on the crotch of Bel's new pants. "We'll all get our turns after that."

"I want to watch Boss do it." The pin-cushion's small eyes filled with lust. "He said I could watch."

"I-I don't understand…" Bel's voice was barely above a whisper as his tense body started shaking again. He turned around to go back to his room, but his bare foot caught the corner of the doorway as he tried to escape. He cried out as pain shot through his little toe, and he couldn't stop the tears from welling up in his eyes again.

The two males laughed until Lussuria walked into the living room from the kitchen. A pink apron covered his front as a concerned expression vanished from his face a split second after making his entrance. He looked from Bel and then back to the other two before he moved to Bel's side to pull the younger into his arms. He hated the way the blond curled into him as if he were a shield from the others who lived here also. "What's going on?"

"Aren't you going to fuck him, too, Lussu?" The silver-haired male smirked at his own question. "I bet he'll be really tight."

"Squalo, he is a  _child_." Behind his sunglasses, Lussuria's eyes narrowed. "And  _you,_ Levi, leave him alone. He's afraid."

"He'll be even more afraid once the boss is done with him." The teen – Squalo, Bel was going to remember – shrugged.

Lussuria bit at his lip to keep his temper; he could remember a time where these two had once been somewhat  _decent_ people, but it seemed that under Xanxus' influence, they had just corrupted. His tone was icy as he asked, "What  _happened_ to you both? I remember a time neither of you would have ever done anything like this."

The two shrugged. Levi's eyes narrowed as well. "You know, Boss won't be happy at all to know you're getting close to his plaything. Boss should just get rid of you altogether – you aren't any use to any of us."

"Don't make my decisions for me, trash."

The three males turned to look back at the doorway as Xanxus' voice floated through the room. He was standing there with an empty liquor bottle in hand. Lussuria flinched and shielded Bel as it was thrown at them, shattering against the wall right next to their heads.

"Give it here," Xanxus snarled as he reached towards Bel. "Give it to me."

For the first time in a long time, Lussuria hesitated to obey. He stayed where he was, and his grip on Bel didn't loosen in the slightest until Xanxus stomped forward and ripped the boy from his arms. He could only watch, helpless, as Xanxus kicked the youngest onto the ground.

Bel screamed in terror. His arms flailed out in desperate search for Lussuria, but he could do nothing except pull his knees to his chest instinctively as the dark-haired man leant over him. "No! No! D-don't!"

"Xanxus, don't…" Lussuria was barely aware of the soft plea escaping his lips; this was so  _wrong…_

"Shut up!" Xanxus roared. He backhanded Bel viciously across the face, snapping the younger's head to the side as blood once again spilt from his nose and mouth from the action.

Bel's screams got louder as he tried to curl in on himself, but Xanxus was too strong; within seconds, the clothing he had worn for the first time were ripped from his body and thrown haphazardly to the side as the man forced Bel's legs apart and knelt in between them.

"W-what are you doing?! No!" Bel's tears came harder, but it was pointless; there was nothing he could do except close his eyes and try to centre his mind elsewhere.

Xanxus sneered. He unzipped the boy's pants as he hissed, "Breaking you in."

With that said, an unimaginable pain ripped through Bel's backside, and he was powerless against the way his body writhed in agony until the laughter around him finally faded out and his world turned black once again.

 

* * *

 

 

When Bel came to, he found himself still on the living room floor, with a puddle of dried blood mixed with white essence he didn't recognise. He didn't know how long he had been down there for; it could have been seconds, minutes or even  _hours_ while that horrible man hurt him, but that wasn't what bothered him; he felt as if his body had been torn apart and, even now, after everyone had left, he could still feel blood trickling slowly down his thighs as he laid there and cried.

_I want to go home…_ Tears slipped past Bel's long lashes and onto the hardwood floor beneath him. He wasn't screaming anymore; what was the point? It didn't help in the least. He wondered about his family; were they still out looking for him? Or would they have given up by now? What if… What if they hadn't even searched at all…?

His tears came harder as Bel longed to be back home in his family's arms where he was safe and everything was okay. He wanted to have those stupid fights with his brother where they both got scolded and sent to bed without dinner. He wanted to talk to his parents and tell them that he was scared. He wanted to hear them tell him that it would be okay. He wouldn't even mind if his twin tried to feed him mud again; at least he would be  _safe…_

If he could just go back home, he could try his hardest to forget that this had ever happened, even if, deep down, he knew that was impossible; the things that had transpired here in this house he would  _never_ forget, no matter how much he wished he could.


	4. Will You Be My Hero?

A week had passed by since Xanxus had assaulted Bel, and Lussuria knew the trauma had long-since set in; Bel had fallen almost completely silent, and he couldn't stop shaking, no matter where he was. He would flinch and recoil with a whimper if someone reached out to him, and the nightmares were clear throughout the nights as Bel often woke them all up screaming.

Lussuria wanted to help; he really did, but there was only so much he could do when he knew nothing was going to change for Bel; it would only get worse for the boy. Sometimes he thought about taking Bel and escaping for good, telling the police everything and hoping for the best. He didn't care if he would be arrested alongside everyone else; if it was what it took for Bel to be safe, he would do it. But there was a huge problem with that idea; Xanxus' foster father was too powerful to let Xanxus go to jail, and he would only be putting a hit out on himself from the very man he worked under.

The only option he was left was to try and console Bel by himself. When the others retired to bed, he would sneak into Bel's room and sit with him. The boy would sit on his lap, shaking, as his tiny hands clutched the fur-lined collar of his jacket while he hiccupped. Sometimes Bel would hide his face in the man's chest as he cried, leaving the man to wrap his arms around the younger and rock him as comfortingly as he could manage.

However, as much as he tried, Lussuria couldn't always be there for Bel – like today, when Xanxus stormed into the boy's room and kicked the younger awake.

Bel sobbed as he tried to back away from Xanxus, but his back was quickly against the wall. He turned his head to the side as scarred hands reached out for his hair, and all he could do was let himself be dragged closer to the man.

"Listen here, trash…" Xanxus' red eyes darkened with hatred, "…if you dare breathe a word about this to  _anyone_ , we'll give you to people who'll do worse to do you than what we already do. We'll send people back to Italy to kill your family and you'll never see them again, no matter  _what_. Do you understand me?"

Tears flowed down his cheeks as Bel nodded, desperate to make the man he was so scared of go away. "…"

"Not a word to  _anyone._ " Xanxus shook the other by the front of his shirt violently before he slammed Bel against the wall so hard, the back of his head cracked against the plaster and left droplets of blood in its wake. "Got that, trash? Now meet me in my room in ten minutes."

Bel nodded. He did his best to ignore the throbbing pain in the back of his head as he wrapped his arms around himself; he knew what Xanxus wanted, and as much as he wished he could disobey, he couldn't; if he didn't do what the man wanted, his family would be killed.

It was with a heavy heart that Bel dragged himself from his room and into Xanxus'. His cries echoed throughout the house, but he had already learnt no one would care; they would only watch in amusement as he was tortured again and again.

When Lussuria returned home that night, the first thing he did was make his daily visit to Bel's bedroom to check on the boy; the storm outside was raging, and he could hear Bel crying from his bedroom; was the child afraid of storms?

"Bel?" Lussuria knocked on the door before he pushed it open and found Bel curled up under the blankets in his bed. He stepped further into the room. "Honey? I have chocolate milk for you tonight."

Bel lowered the blankets to his chin so he could peek out at Lussuria beneath his bangs that were slowly growing back out. Lussuria didn't miss the unbridled fear in them; just how much damage had everyone caused to this poor child…?

"Are you afraid of storms?" Lussuria sat on the end of the bed and looked at the window the bed was pressed against. He parted the curtains so he could look out into the night sky alight with lightning. He tutted as Bel gave a small nod in response. "You know it can't hurt you when you're inside."

For the first time in a week, Bel spoke. His whisper was shaky, proving to Lussuria that there was  _so_ much more going on inside that child's mind that he may  _never_ understand. "Will Xanxus protect me…?"

Lussuria cocked his head to the side; did Bel honestly think that the man who only wanted him for sex would care enough to do anything about his fear of storms? It broke his heart, but he knew it didn't work that way; Xanxus was a heartless man, and he would only beat Bel further if anything was said to him about it.

"…Why do you want him to protect you, sweetie?" The man leant down so he could kiss the top of Bel's head.

"Because… E-even though he… hurts me… He looks after me…" Bel looked at his mattress as he tried to convey his thoughts. "…He feeds me, and… feeds me…"

Lussuria closed his eyes. He knew what this was; this was the beginning of Stockholm Syndrome, and he feared nothing he could do would help now. "Honey… Xanxus…"

What was he supposed to tell the other? What did he say to a kid that had been scarred for life? That Xanxus was a monster and only wanted his body? That what Bel was starting to believe was bullshit? He sighed.

"If there's anyone in this house you can depend on, it's  _me_ , Bel-chan," Lussuria whispered. He reached out to take the boy's hands in his own.

Bel nodded. He pulled his hands back to himself so he could push his blankets away and crawl onto Lussuria's lap like he was accustomed to doing. He didn't hesitate as a small carton of chocolate milk was handed to him; his tiny, shaking hands reached out and eagerly accepted the gift. He drank slowly as his body shivered with every crack of thunder, but even though nothing more was said between the two, Lussuria's caressing hands rubbing his back soon soothed him into sleep.

Lussuria was gentle as he laid Bel back down in the bed so he could pull the blankets back over him. He leaned forward and kissed Bel's temple before he stood back up and left the room to return to his own. He didn't often indulge in self-pity, but for the rest of that night, he laid awake and  _hated_ himself for being too weak to go against Xanxus for the sake of this little boy who desperately needed a hero.


	5. Look at What You've Done to Me

With the Stockholm Syndrome having set in over the months, Lussuria had finally managed to get Xanxus' permission to enrol Bel into school; Bel wasn't going to tell anyone about the abduction because, as heartbreaking as it was, the young child seemed to have fallen in love with Xanxus and didn't want to be taken away anymore. It was a scary thing to think about, so Lussuria didn't think too much on it, and he did his best to ignore everything Bel now did for Xanxus that made him wince in horror whenever he was a witness.

The only problem was, Bel seemed to be  _too_ in love with Xanxus because, here they were, standing outside the boy's new school on his first day with Lussuria almost  _begging_ Bel to go inside and be  _normal_ for just  _once_.

"I don't want to go…" Bel's arms were wrapped tightly around Lussuria's leg as he hid his face against the man's hip. "I want to go back to Xanxus…"

Lussuria, to at least  _try_ and comfort Bel, said, "But don't you want to learn Japanese better? I don't have the time to teach you properly, but here they'll put you in a special class so you can learn it much better than what you already know."

"I want to go home..." Bel looked up into Lussuria's face, and from beneath his long bangs, Lussuria could make out the distress in those purple eyes. "I don't want to be here; I want to go back to Xanxus…"

"But Xanxus will be  _mad_ at you if you come back home, so you  _have_ to go, okay?" The man slipped Bel's backpack off his shoulder so he could give it to Bel. "Remember, keep everything to yourself, okay? No one can know you're living with us."

Bel nodded. He didn't respond; he was told the same thing every day, so what was the point in replying? They all knew he didn't want to get Xanxus into trouble; of  _course_ he wasn't going to tell!

He reluctantly let go of Lussuria so he could turn around and look at the school the man so badly wanted him to go to. It was a strange feeling; when he had lived in Italy with his family, though he had hated school, he had never  _feared_ it before, but here he was, shaking as his mouth went dry at the  _thought_ of having to go inside.

"Bye, honey…" Lussuria wanted nothing more than to snatch Bel back into his arms and take him home, but he knew if he did that, Xanxus would skin them both alive; it was best to just go home and count down the hours until the child would be back in his arms, hopefully away  _safe_ from Xanxus' filthy hands. "Have a good day."

Bel could feel tears well up in his eyes as he watched Lussuria leave. He wanted to chase after the man and jump back into the car and never get out, but even if he had tried to do so, he couldn't now; another group of kids had approached him, and despite him not understanding what they were trying to say to him, he was scared; why had Lussuria done this to him…?

Levi had always wondered about why Xanxus had given them orders to go out and find a child to bring home for them; the man had Squalo, after all, but no matter how often he pondered over this, he still couldn't come up with an explanation. He had always thought their boss had been happy with the silver-haired teen – everyone knew  _Squalo_ was fucking in love with the guy and would jump off a fucking cliff if he had been told to – so why had Xanxus demanded a third party for their relationship? It didn't make sense to him.

It was something he was wondering about once again as he sat in the living room with Lussuria, knowing Xanxus had taken Squalo into his office to fuck the younger until he wouldn't be walking properly until a week later, so when the phone on the side table next to him started ringing, he almost didn't notice it until Lussuria nudged his leg with his boot to answer it.

"Hello?" It was what was said from the other end of the line that had Levi's curiosity peaked. He looked at Lussuria as he replied. "Yeah, he's right here."

Lussuria hummed as he took the phone from his friend and put it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Principal Katoda calling from Namimori Elementary." The woman that Lussuria had spoken to as he enrolled Bel into the school sounded calm as she spoke to him now, but Lussuria instinctively tensed; what if Bel had messed up…?

"…How may I help?" He played it cool, knowing that if anything was amiss, he should have time to run before Xanxus would notice.

"Well, it's just Bel-kun has been acting out during his first classes," Katoda explained. "He's very withdrawn and fearful of everyone. I understand he suffers greatly from social anxiety, but still, it came as a surprise when he attacked one of the boys in his class. He cannot communicate with us well enough yet for us to understand what had happened, so can you please come and pick him up? I think he'll need more time before he's fit to come to school."

"Oh dear…" Lussuria raised his hand to his mouth and bit at his nails; he knew what Xanxus would do, and he didn't want to think about it. "Yes, I'll come and get him straight away."

Lussuria handed the phone back to Levi so he could pat his pockets in search of his car keys. His mind raced in anxiety; hadn't Bel learnt by now that Xanxus would hurt him for the tiniest of things? He needed to stop acting out and stay at school as much as he could so he was protected from the man.

"Where are you going?" Levi's eyes narrowed at the other.

Lussuria's face took on that stoic manner he had perfected by now, but he knew it wouldn't fool Levi; the older male was no fool, and he would have seen the anxiety present just moments ago. "Picking Bel up. Don't tell Xanxus."

Levi shrugged, but Lussuria knew better; he was a fucking lapdog and would be at Xanxus' office door the second Lussuria was gone.

* * *

 

Bel had been silent during the car ride home, knowing what was in store for him. Even as they walked through the massive gardens that surrounded the front of the mansion they lived in, he trembled; Xanxus was going to be so mad… Lussuria could sense the younger's turmoil, but he said nothing either; why should he lie to the child and tell him it would be okay when they  _both_ knew it was going to be anything  _but_?

It was when they got to the double doors that would lead them inside and into the entry hall did Lussuria finally speak again. "Just go straight to your room, okay?"

Bel nodded. He went to do as instructed, but before his tiny feet could take even two steps into the house, he stopped; he could hear the thundering of Xanxus' feet as he came down the staircase, and he couldn't help but cry; Xanxus  _was_ so mad… He hid behind Lussuria as the scarred man came into view, but he knew it was useless; Xanxus was still going to get him, and there was nothing he could do to change that.

"The fuck did you go and get him for?!" Xanxus snarled as he closed the distance between them. He punched Lussuria in the face as he roared, "He stays at school and doesn't fucking come home until it's  _over,_ you stupid piece of trash! Don't you realise people are already suspicious as to why he's  _always_ here?!"

Lussuria could stay nothing as he was shoved aside so that Xanxus could get to Bel. He watched helplessly as Squalo and Levi made an appearance to watch with eager eyes as to what was about to go down.

Xanxus snatched a handful of Bel's hair and ripped him closer to his body. He took hold of the boy's shoulders as he shook Bel viciously. "Why are you  _here?!_ "

Bel sobbed as he tried to pull away, but he couldn't say anything; he knew if he opened his mouth he was only going to cry harder.

"Well?!" The dark-haired man snarled.

"Xanxus, he –" Lussuria tried to interject, but he was silenced once again as Xanxus kicked him.

Through his tears, Bel recounted what had happened at school in a fearful voice. "…T-they… There was a-a-another… a-another Italian b-b-boy…! He… H-h-he c-called me… a… g-girl…!"

"But you  _are_ a girl," Xanxus whispered cruelly before he threw the child into the wall.

Lussuria could watch no longer; he couldn't stand seeing what was happening to Bel, and as he made his departure, he wondered; was he the only one who even  _considered_ why Bel had been so upset? Deep down inside, he understood; it was because they had made him out to be a girl just after the abduction.

He stayed in his room for what must have been hours until he heard soft footsteps approaching. He recognised the unsteady gait, so he stood up to open his bedroom door. He watched with a pained expression as Bel slowly limped towards him, with his shirt ripped and his pants in his arms as he tried to make his way to his bedroom with a dazed expression on his face.

"Bel-chan?" Lussuria closed the distance between them so he could put his hand on the boy's shoulder. He tilted the younger's chin up to look at him, and he sighed at the bloodied and swollen face looking back at him. He put his hands beneath the other's arms and lifted him up. "Stay with me, Bel-chan. You'll be safe with me."

Bel said nothing as he was carried into the other's room. He laid down on the bed the second he felt it beneath him, and all he could do was watch as the man came to clean up his wounds, just like every other day.

"Bel, I need to… clean down there…" Lussuria sighed again at the blank expression that answered him. He swallowed thickly. "…This is going to sting a little… But I promise I'm just cleaning…"

The child barely acknowledged the hands that worked beneath his legs, and Lussuria didn't know what to think; had Bel given up fighting against the things Xanxus and Squalo did to him? Or was he so broken, he just didn't care what happened to him anymore?

No matter the reason, Lussuria was glad Bel was so unresponsive because he could  _never_ have bared being seen shedding the few drops of tears he did.


	6. You Won't Understand

Four years had passed since Bel had been abducted, and his twelfth birthday had arrived. The others didn't care, but Lussuria did, Bel knew; Lussuria  _always_ cared.

Bel limped out of his room and down the hall so that he could stop by Xanxus' office. He knocked timidly on the door before he pushed it open and found both Squalo and Xanxus at the desk. Squalo was spread out on top of it with his legs wrapped around Xanxus' waist, and Bel couldn't help but stare; why did it never seem to hurt Squalo like it always did for  _him_?

"What?!" Xanxus snarled. He didn't still his movements; he continued to thrust in and out violently as he waited impatiently for Bel to answer.

Bel fumbled with his hands as he looked to the ground. "…W-where's… Lussu…?"

"The fuck should I know?" Xanxus turned his attention back to Squalo so he could ignore the boy completely. Squalo's moans were loud, making Bel uncomfortable; though he had long-since grown used to being a sex toy, he still found it was difficult to be around these two when they were in this situation.

Bel left the office and went back to his room so he could curl up on his bed. He lifted his pillow and grabbed the knife he kept beneath it. The blade was still stained with dried blood, but he didn't care; it would get the job done. He rolled his sleeves up before he placed the tip at his wrists and dragged it across – something he had been doing for a few weeks now. No one else knew, and he didn't want them to; it would only lead to more trouble otherwise.

He sobbed to himself as he added fresh cuts to the scabs that barely had time to heal. He wanted to die, to get away from all of this, but a part of him  _loved_ the group of men he lived with more than anything; they were all he had, and despite what they did to him, they took care of him.

But even so, it hurt to know that Lussuria was the only one who even  _knew_ when his birthday was.

As Bel dragged the knife down his wrists, he drew enough blood for him to start feeling light-headed. He groaned quietly as his head spun and his vision became spotty. He dropped the knife onto his lap as he laid down, feeling too weak to continue sitting. He closed his eyes; whatever was about to happen, he welcomed it.

The bedroom door opened, and a loud shout filled the air, but Bel barely even noticed it; he just felt so  _weak_ suddenly…

"Voi! Boss wants you to – What the fuck are ya doin'?!" Squalo's dark eyes were full of hate as he stormed forward and grabbed the blade from Bel. He slapped the younger across the face before he grabbed the child's pale cheeks roughly and slammed his head against the headboard of the bed. "Voi! Boss! He's tryin' ta kill 'imself!"

It took only seconds for Xanxus to enter the room, and he took no time in lunging at the boy. He didn't try to talk to Bel, to ask why or  _try_ to  _understand;_ he just pulled his abductee from the bed and tossed him onto the ground. The beating was worse than usual, and Xanxus felt great satisfaction at the blood that was quickly staining the white carpet red; maybe he should beat the boy like this more often and he might. Fucking.  _Learn_.

Bel didn't move from where he had fallen; he didn't even struggle as he felt someone tugging at his pants. He had stopped struggling long ago; he knew that in times like these, Xanxus was simply trying to  _educate_ him, and he had to be good, be a good boy,  _listen_ to Xanxus and  _obey_.

"If you  _ever_ pull this shit again…" Xanxus wrapped his hand around Bel's throat and  _squeezed,_ "…I'll go back to Italy and I'll kill your fucking family with my own fucking hands…"

Bel kept his eyes squeezed shut tight as he nodded. Maybe his family had forgotten all about him, but he didn't care; he still loved them so much, and he would do what he could to protect them.

"Behave," Xanxus snarled. He hadn't bothered to redress himself after his session with Squalo, so it was easy enough for him to shove himself inside the boy's body.

Bel cried out in pain, but he knew to lay still and let it happen; he'd be beaten again if he tried to resist, after all.

 

* * *

 

When Lussuria stepped into Bel's bedroom the next morning, he found the boy sitting at his desk, drawing. He walked over to stand by the younger's side so he could look down at the paper that was assaulted by the barrage of tears slipping down Bel's cheeks. 

"Honey?" Lussuria didn't like what he was seeing; Bel wasn't the best artist, but that didn't matter; what  _did_ matter was that the boy was drawing figures that looked remarkably like himself; the figure in that drawing was naked, bloodied and bruised, just like its real-life counterpart usually was. "Bel, why are you drawing this?"

Bel shrugged. He slid a few more pages out from beneath the one he was working on. Lussuria flicked through them, horrified to find that every drawing consisted of something that had happened to Bel. He didn't force the other to speak; not when it was clear the child was in more distress than usual. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday, sweetie. I tried to be here, but I had to do something for Xanxus."

"It's okay…" Bel mumbled as he stilled his wrist. He continued to look down at the paper, too afraid to make eye contact. "Lussu…? Can… Can we go somewhere today…?'

"Hmm?" Lussuria brushed away golden bangs so he could take sight of Bel's swollen and bruised left eye. He sighed as he found that the right one was only half-open and staring blankly, with a slightly milky appearance in the cornea; had Bel's vision been damaged? He shook his head; he'd ask about it when the child was feeling better. "Like where?"

Bel shrugged again. "Anywhere… I just…"

The older male understood; Bel needed an escape. He nodded. "Let me clean you up and then we'll find somewhere to go."

Bel nodded. He returned to his drawing as the other left to fetch a medical kit; at least  _Lussu_ understood…


	7. Dysfunctional Love

It had been a suicide attempt on Bel's sixteenth birthday that had brought Lussuria into the boy's school to talk to his teacher. He had been so well-meaning, wanting only to help Bel as best he could – but it hadn't been enough as the students who had overheard only made the boy's bullying problem worse.

"Hey, scum…!"

Bel looked over his shoulder at the whisper that came from behind him. He sighed as he found it was another one of the students, and with that, he turned his attention back to what he had been drawing. He flinched when someone else spat at him, but he otherwise didn't react; he just wished that the teacher would  _finally_ take notice of what the other kids did.

"You should just go kill yourself already," someone hissed from his right. "We all hate you; no one wants you here. What stopped you in the first place?"

"Yeah, you should have just died and we'd all be happy." The female student from behind him joined in as a few of her friends egged her on. "You're just so ugly and worthless. A waste of air is all you are!"

Bel's shoulders were tense, and his hands shook as he tried to continue drawing what he always did; morbid pictures inspired by his living conditions. His mouth was dry as his heart pounded against his ribs, and it took everything he had to fight back tears.

"What'cha drawin', freak?" One of the bigger boys in the class who, unfortunately, was seated directly next to Bel, reached out and snatched the paper from his hands. He didn't even look at it before he ripped it in half and said, "You're so weird, you freak."

Bel didn't speak; he just wrapped his arms around his body and looked at his lap as his bottom lip quivered. He flinched when he felt someone shove at him. He felt a tear rolling down his cheek as he wished with all his being he was home.

"Look at the baby!"

Bel pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms tight around them as he wished for death. He hated being here – hell, he hated  _living_ ; he just wanted  _escape_  from everything.

**_BRRRIIINNNGGGGG_ **

The boy jumped out of his chair the second the bell rang for lunch. He didn't have any friends to sit with, but that was okay; he usually hid away somewhere until he was forced back into class – today, however, wasn't going to go as planned, though.

One of the taller, stronger males of the class tripped Bel over in the corridor. He spat at the blond as Bel laid there, and then, to the growing crowd, announced, "Look at the little freak! Aren't you gonna get up, you cry-baby?"

Bel's heart pounded against his ribcage as the other got closer to him. He slipped his hand into his pocket and closed his fingers around what he had hidden in there that morning; if people didn't stop approaching him, he was gonna…

"Get up, freak!" The other reached out for him. "Go kill yourse – argh!"

There was screaming from the blond's attacker as a kitchen knife penetrated his hand, cutting between two knuckles and coming out the other side. The hallway turned into chaos as people screamed and ran everywhere, trying to get away, but Bel couldn't care about that; all he could do was keep swinging the knife, protect himself, stop the other from hurting him,  _stand up for himself_.

There was a flash of silver from the corner of Bel's eye and, within seconds, someone had grabbed him from behind to try and pull him away from the student he had managed to stab repeatedly. He screamed as the feeling of being restrained flashed all too familiar in his damaged mind, and without even thinking, he continued swinging the knife behind him to stab whoever was going to try and take him away from Xanxus for themselves.

A smaller brunet ran out of the dispersing crowd and grabbed Bel's flailing wrist. A taller, darker-haired teenager came after him, taking the knife from Bel.

Bel attacked with all he had; he bit down on the arm closest to his mouth and drew blood. When the person behind him let go, he spun back around and lunged at the silver-haired teenager as he kicked and punched and screamed with tears running down his cheeks. He screamed and screamed and  _screamed_ as strong arms pulled him from the second student he had managed to get down onto the ground, and with that, his traumatised mind had had enough, and his world went black.

* * *

"I'm sorry we had to call you in…"

Xanxus glared at the school principal as he sat down at the desk with Bel waiting outside in the corridor for him. "…"

"We tried to get hold of Lussuria as the legal guardian of Belphegor, but he was unavailable, and you were second on our emergency contact list."

"What did he do  _now…?"_ Xanxus rolled his eyes. He felt satisfaction at the knowledge that the reason the school couldn't get hold of Lussuria was because the man was out burying a dead body for him.

"He brought a knife to school and attacked several students." The woman frowned. "Look… He has a  _really_ terrible record, in  _all_ of his attended schools. I'm afraid that after this, we're going to have to ask you to enrol him somewhere else."

Xanxus was going to fucking  _kill_ that kid when they were home… "We can't. No other school will take him. Suspend the fucker or something."

Outside the office, Bel continuously sobbed as he drew his knees up to his chest. He pulled at his hair as he shielded his ears at the same time; he knew what Xanxus was going to do to him when they got home… Why hadn't he just used the knife on himself and been done with it all? He'd only managed to make things worse for himself, just like he  _always_ did…

He didn't know how much time had passed before Xanxus came out of the office and grabbed his wrist with a grip so tight, he was sure he could feel his tendons snapping as fresh blood dribbled from reopened cuts. He was dragged through the corridors and out to the front yard, and when they got to the man's sleek black Mercedes-Benz, he was thrown against the car savagely.

"Get the fuck in!" Xanxus roared as he moved to the driver's side. "Get the fuck in the car before I run you down where you stand!"

Bel whimpered as he got into the car. He hugged himself tight, trying to prepare himself mentally for what was about to come, but it was useless; Xanxus' fist came flying from the corner of his eye and into the side of his mouth. He cried out as he felt a tooth dislodge and the taste of blood on his tongue. Already it was painful to move his jaw, but it was hard to keep it in place when he was in hysterics.

Xanxus gripped blond hair tightly before he slammed Bel's head into the window, ready to beat the shit out of the boy. He wrapped his fingers around Bel's throat like he did so often and squeezed harder than he ever had before. "Didn't I tell you not to draw attention to us, you fucking little bastard?! I should slit your throat right here! Wait until we get home…"

Bel gasped for air as the grip on his throat was removed. His tears came harder; his punishment was going to be  _so_ much worse when they got home and Xanxus realised he had just pissed in the man's brand new Mercedes.

* * *

When Bel went back to school a few weeks later, he was more depressed and withdrawn than ever. The other students were unrelenting, pushing desperately for another reaction like the one they had gotten last time. As much as he wished he did, he didn't have any knives; Xanxus had made it a habit of searching him before he left for school now.

By the time the bell rang and the blond had left his class to go home, he was already fighting back tears as the whispers surrounded him from the other kids, wondering why he was heading in the opposite direction of his home.

"Where's he going?"

"He doesn't have any friends; why would he be going into town?"

"Maybe he's gonna go hang himself somewhere instead."

"Or gonna go find a gun and put a bullet through his brain."

"Good riddance, I say."

"Agreed."

Bel ignored them. He kept his head down as he walked. He hated being sent on errands into town; even the adults gave him the same sort of treatment as the other kids.

He plugged his headphones into his iPod to try and block everyone else out, thankful that Lussuria had bought it for him and helped him put music onto the device; it really came in handy for times like these.

The walk into town was a long one, and Bel hated how he had to pass another school to get there. It was a primary school, and being full of such young students, they didn't even know to  _at least_ keep their voices down when they spoke about him. He tightened his grip on the strap of his school bag as anxiety quickly overwhelmed him.

However, he was stopped when a tiny hand reached out and grabbed the back of his school jacket. He looked up, coming face-to-face with a teal-haired boy sitting on one of the cement posts of the schoolyard gate.

"Why do you look so sad?" The boy tilted his head. "Do people make fun of you, too?"

Bel nodded. He looked to the side; so  _this_ kid knew what it was like to be hurt by others as well…? "…"

"Are you sad because you have no friends?"

The blond flinched; how did this kid know so much…? Was it because… he could  _understand_ …?

"…What's your name…?" Even to a child who was  _so_ much younger than him, Bel spoke in a fearful tone.

"Fran. What's yours?"

"…Bel…" His heavy burden suddenly felt just a little lighter as he smiled and said, "You look like a frog. Can I call you Froggy…?"

"Okay."

Bel didn't understand it at all; he was usually so scared of people, but standing here and talking to this kid made him feel lighter than he had felt in eight years. Fran was bringing him a level of comfort only Lussuria had managed to give him, and the more he talked with Fran, the more he realised that no one else deserved this child more than  _him_ ; only  _they_ could understand each other, and for the first time in his life, he could  _relate_ to someone. Back in Italy, he had had friends. He had had his family. But the problem with that was, even though he had once been  _so happy_ … He hadn't had anyone he felt he could relate to, to be able to tell someone his problems and have them understand.

Bel wanted to keep this child for himself, to have someone  _he_ could protect from the cruel world instead of being the one protected. He wanted to stay by Fran's side forever and hold him and never let him go.

Most of all… Bel just wanted a  _friend_.

It was with a heavy heart that when two pineapple-headed teenagers came for Fran that Bel left to go and do the shopping, but thoughts of that child never left his mind.

* * *

"Xanxus…?"

Xanxus looked up from the steak he had been eating so he could glare hatefully at the boy. He watched as Bel shifted uncomfortably before approaching; he was sure he had already taught the younger long ago to never disturb him as he ate.

"…I…" Bel dropped his head and twisted his hands together uncomfortably. "…I found someone… I like…"

Xamxus smirked as he realised that the boy was expressing interest in a friend. "And?"

"…Can… Can I bring them here…? And keep them forever…?"

Xanxus stood up so he could saunter towards his captive slowly. His smirk only grew as he reached out and caressed Bel's make-up-clad face in a mock tender manner. He rubbed his thumb against one of the many hidden bruises before he pinched it and drew a whimper from Bel.

"If you want to do that, you know what you have to do." Xanxus raised his hand to his pants so he could unzip them and withdraw his arousal. He guided it into Bel's waiting mouth so he could fuck the tight little orifice like the ferocious animal he was. "You've learnt how to show love now, haven't you? Love is when you  _fear_ someone. You love  _us,_ don't you? Because you're scared of us. And we do what do to you before  _we_ love  _you_. You have to treat them the same way we treat you, and make them fear you with all they have. You understand, right?"

Bel hummed as he allowed his body to relax and bob his head to meet the man's hard thrusts.

Xanxus patted Bel's head. "You'll be a good boy and bring them here and share them with us. You'll let us watch what you do to him so we can make sure you're doing it right. You want them to love you after all, don't you? This is the only way they will."

Bel nodded. He knew that Xanxus must be right if  _he_ loved the abusive man. He pulled his mouth away from Xanxus' cock so he could give a wry smile to the man and whisper, "I love you, Xanxus-sama…"

As if to prove his point, Bel took his pants off and laid down on the floor as invitation for Xanxus to do what he enjoyed most. It never crossed the boy's mind that, back in Italy, he had loved his family and his friends without  _anything_ like this ever happening.

Then again, he  _had_ forgotten just about everything from his previous life.


	8. He's Mine

The next day, Bel left home late to go to school. It was lunchtime, but he didn't care; it was why he had left when he did. He took a detour past his own school so that he could stop by the one he had met Fran at yesterday. He scouted around the area of the school for a little while before he finally found who he was looking for; the teal-haired child he wanted so badly to keep for himself.

Fran was sitting out in the far corner of the courtyard, away from everyone else. As much as it tugged at his heart to see the child behaving exactly like himself, he had to brush it away; he had to be strong now, and he had to make Xanxus _proud_.

Bel crept over to the chain-link fence Fran wasn't far from. He hid between some bushes as he called out, "Froggy!"

The addressed male blinked as he heard his name floating through the air. He turned around, and if Bel's eyes weren't obscured by his long bangs, they probably would have made eye contact. "Bel?"

Bel thrust his hand into his pocket with much enthusiasm so he could resurface with some of the candy he had asked Xanxus to buy for him last night. He held it out for Fran to see. "If you come out of the yard, I'll give you this."

Fran shook his head. He backed away slightly before he said, "I'm not allowed to. I'll get in trouble if anyone sees."

Bel lifted the chain-link from the bottom, showing the hole that was just big enough for Fran to crawl out from. "Crawl out, Froggy. I won't tell anyone."

The blond felt oddly relieved when Fran did as requested; was it because for once, someone had actually listened to him? He passed the candy over as promised before he stood up and pointed to the street behind them. "Let's go for a walk, Froggy."

Fran obeyed. From the corner of his eye, Bel watched the younger; why were his pants getting tight like when Squalo caressed him every time they made love? Was it because he loved Fran already? It must be; he always got hard for the men he lived with and he loved them  _heaps_.

"How old are you, Froggy?"

"Seven." Fran gave the other a small smile. "What about you?"

"Sixteen."

"You look too small to be sixteen, liar."

Bel bristled; if Fran had a problem with his height, it wasn't  _his_ fucking fault his growth was so stunted! "A bit of a smartass, aren't you? A peasant such as yourself should know better than to offend a prince. From now on you shall call the prince Bel- _senpai,_ un-cute kohai."

"You're a  _fake_ prince, senpai; they aren't real."

"Little shit!" Bel, who truly wanted to believe he could be something  _other_ than what he was for the adults, had long ago deluded himself into thinking he was a prince, and having his 'status' attacked made him afraid, as if Xanxus and the others couldn't  _possibly_ love him if he were just some stupid  _kid_. He raised his hand; never he had felt the need to slap someone, but here he was, ready to slap the child across the face as hard as he could. "You're lucky Squalo took my knives or I would have turned you into a cactus already!"

It was when Fran flinched and pulled away did Bel frown and lower his hand as his heart started to race. He felt tears pricking at his own eyes; he didn't like the feeling of someone being afraid of him, but he knew it had to be this way for Fran to love him back; Xanxus was never wrong, after all.

* * *

It was easy to get Fran back to Bel's school, and as soon as he had ushered the younger into the bathroom no one ever used, the first thing he did was pick Fran up and sit him on one of the hand basins.

"What are we doing here, Bel-senpai?" Fran sat and watched as Bel tugged at his own belt in an attempt to undo it.

The corners of Bel's lips twitched upwards when his hands shaking from eagerness finally got his belt off. He looked back at Fran. "We're going to play a game. You have to take your clothes off."

"But…" Fran shook his head. He looked away as the other's pants fell to his ankles. "…That's bad… My grandma told me that's bad…"

Bel's first instinct was to yell and scream and force the clothes from Fran's body, but he didn't want to do it in the same way Xanxus did; he wanted to be gentle the way Squalo was with him and see where that got him – if it failed to get him the love he deserved, well… He would have to lock away his own heart, just like Xanxus had told him.

"It will be fun, and it's not bad at all," Bel promised. "I do it with the men I live with all the time. It feels really good; I promise."

"Well…" Fran sighed. If Bel did it, it must be okay.

The younger's tiny fingers worked at the buttons on his green school jacket while Bel removed the rest of his clothing. His emerald eyes scanned the blond's now-naked body, and he didn't miss any of the multitudes of scars and bruises that covered almost every inch of the teenager's body.

"Bel-senpai…" Fran's fingertips brushed against Bel's chest, almost in disbelief at what he was seeing; how could someone want to hurt someone so nice…? "Bel-senpai, what –"

"You sick herbivore…"

Bel and Fran both turned to the doorway of the bathroom at the unexpected voice. While Fran stared blankly, Bel's eyes narrowed at the raven-haired teenager who had just walked in on them; no one else ever came in here, so why now…?! Had someone told him…?

Bel hissed and stepped back so he could stand in front of Fran protectively. His body tensed for a fight; he  _hated_ fighting, but if the other was here to take Fran away from him, he would fucking  _kill_ if that was what it took to keep the child with him.

However, to Bel's surprise, the Prefect of the Disciplinary Committee who was known as bloodthirsty around the school – hell, the whole  _town_ – simply side stepped him and snatched Fran into his arms. The blond was so stunned by these turn of events, he felt as if he were frozen in place, unable to move as the newcomer snatched up the child's uniform from the ground and redressed him in a hurry.

The Prefect finally looked back to Bel once Fran was redressed. One of his tonfa was clutched tight in his shaking hand, proving just how difficult it was for the other to contain his anger. "Don't think I won't bite you to death  _later,_ herbivore…"

With that said, Bel watched, helpless, as Fran was ushered out of the bathroom and away from him. His mind screamed at him to give chase, to take Fran back and claim the younger as his own, but he couldn't; suddenly, the familiar exhaustion crashed over him and all he could do was drop onto the ground and cry.

"F-froggy…" Bel didn't bother putting his clothes back on; he pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them tight. Why was it so  _wrong_ he just didn't want to be alone anymore…? Why couldn't  _he_ have someone to call his own, to protect and love and fucking  _be wanted by…?_

The world hated Bel, and he hated it right back even more.

* * *

"X-xanxus-sama…"

Xanxus turned away from the TV he had been watching when Bel's tiny voice came from his side. He raised his eyebrow as he looked at the boy who had crept up to him without his notice. He said nothing about the younger's tear-stained face; he didn't care, and if Bel didn't get to the fucking point soon, Bel was going to regret disturbing him.

"Xanxus-sama…" Bel moved closer – albeit warily – so that he could wrap his arms around the man in search of the comfort he so desperately wanted. He whimpered as all it earned him was a punch to the stomach. "Xanxus-sama… They… They took my Froggy away…"

"Who did?" The dark-haired man didn't give a fuck about Bel's problems, but if his toy didn't bring back the  _new_ fuck-toy he had been promised, he was going to have to keep making do with the stupid brat he had no longer wanted for four years now.

"That stupid Prefect…" Bel sat where he had fallen so he could bring his knees to his chest once again. "…He took my Froggy back to that school… I was so close, Xanxus-sama… I was just getting his clothes off…"

Xanxus sneered. "You know what you need to do?"

"What…?"

"Bring him here." Xanxus nodded to himself. "Yes. Get him out of school again and bring him here. Once he's here, no one will take him away from you again. Understand?"

Bel nodded. He wiped at his tears. "Y-yes, Xanxus-sama…"

"Good boy." Xanxus moved his hands to his lap so he could unzip his own pants. "Now come here."

Bel didn't hesitate to obey, but even so, tears continued to slip faster down his cheeks as he tried to immerse himself in sexual gratification; he just wasn't into it today; there was too much on his mind.


	9. My Precious Toy

It took a few days before Bel went back to school but, when he did, he decided he only wanted to go for the morning this time. It was near lunchtime as he gathered his bags and headed out of the schoolyard, ready to go home. However, he didn't get very far from the school when he felt someone tugging at the back of his jacket, needing his attention.

Bel turned around. He blinked in surprise as he found Fran standing behind him; where had the younger come from? The child was still in his uniform, so what had happened to bring him here? "What are you doing here, Froggy?"

"I was looking for you." Fran's expression didn't give much away; he looked almost as stoic as Lussuria did whenever Xanxus was present.

Bel licked his lips as he leant down so he was eye-level with Fran. "What for?"

"I'm looking for Mukuro's school," the child explained, "but I can't remember where to go. Can you help me find it?"

Despite all the questions Bel had, he didn't ask them; he knew what a perfect chance this was; he could get Fran back to his house easily like this; he just had to be cunning. He straightened up and cleared his throat. "Of course, Froggy. But is it okay if we stop by my house on the way? I won't be long."

"Okay." Fran lifted his arms into the air in a silent request to be picked up. Bel could feel his heart race in unknown emotion as he did so; what was he feeling right now…? "Where do you live, Bel-senpai?"

"In a mansion." Bel sniffed at Fran's hair as he started walking. He was sure he could drown in that intoxicating smell; he'd  _love_ to wake up that scent every morning.

"Wow." Fran's smile sent shivers down Bel's spine. "Can you show me around, senpai?"

"Sure. Ushishishi~" Bel licked the shell of Fran's ear; the child tasted as good as he looked…! He had to be  _patient,_ though; he could finally have Fran for himself soon…

Fifteen minutes later, Bel had gotten Fran into his home and upstairs to his bedroom under the guise of a 'tour'. Fran had followed, so in awe of what he was seeing, it was only too easy for Bel.

"Bel-senpai, your room is so big." The younger's eyes were wide as he turned to observe his friend; having always lived with poor people, he hadn't even realised living spaces could be so  _huge…!_ "It's so much bigger than the hotel I live in with Master and his friends."

Bel frowned. He hated his room; it always held the rancid smell of blood and semen, and with the memories and knowledge of everything that happened here, what should have been a comforting personal space was instead nothing but a room he saw every night in his nightmares.

It was a big room, yes, but there were dried bloodstains on the walls hidden behind haphazardly placed furniture, and the carpet that had recently been torn up and replaced with floorboards was because of the bodily fluids that had been so embedded into the carpet, nothing they had done was able to get it out. The single desk off the side held his morbid drawings, and the king-sized bed he owned may have been soft to rest on, but the stories it could tell frightened Bel to no end.

"Want to play a game?" Bel suggested. "We can finish off what we were playing at my school."

"Will we be back in time to find Master before school finishes…?"

"Yup~ Promise." Bel reached out so he could take Fran over to the bed. He laid the child down on the red silk comforter so he could reach down and work to undo the younger's pants. "You'll like this game. It's fun."

Fran closed his eyes as he pants were pulled down his thin legs. He turned his head to the side, not sure he wanted to see what the other was going to do – so when something grabbed at his length, he whimpered and pulled away as his eyes snapped wide open in fright.

"T-that's bad!" He tried to protest. He attempted to pull his hips away from Bel, but the blond held him firmly in place.

"It's not bad," Bel promised. He didn't even know whether he believed his own words or not.

Fran squeaked as the hand that was gripping him started moving, sliding along his flaccid length. He couldn't deny that it felt good, but even so, it was scaring him; why wasn't Bel listening to him…?

"I-I don't want to play this game… It a-ah!" Fran choked on the sharp intake of breath when hot lips wrapped around his shaft. He instinctively bucked his hips as he was engulfed in a hot cavern, and all thoughts of this being bad instantly flew out the window; maybe Bel was right; something that felt  _this_ good  _surely_ wasn't bad…

Bel bobbed his head up and down as he stroked his own arousal. It didn't take him long to bring Fran to climax, and once he had done so, he sat on his heels and grinned happily; surely the teal-haired child would love him now!

"Bel-senpai…" Fran panted heavily, having never experienced something like this before.

"Did you like it?" Bel purred. He crawled on top of the younger, leaning over him on his hands and knees. He frowned as Fran shook his head, and suddenly, anger crashed over him; how could Fran deny him after  _that?!_ Did he  _really_ have to use the tactics he  _didn't_ want to force on Fran?! Well, if that was how it was going to be!

Fran whimpered loudly as a hand slapped him across his face. He raised his hand to his cheek as he raised his eyes to search through Bel's bangs for his own to make eye contact with. "B-bel-senpai…?"

Bel didn't reply; now that he had gotten the taste of what it was like to hurt others, to have someone fear  _him,_ he couldn't stop. He wanted more of it,  _needed_ more – wanted to hurt, to make others afraid of him!

The child cried out as he was rolled onto his stomach, not knowing what to expect. He gasped when he felt something hard prod at his rear but, before he could question it – even  _think_ about  _anything_ – unimaginable pain shot through his tiny body as the feeling of being ripped in half overwhelmed him.

Fran screamed. He tried to get away, but Bel held him too tight. The other had him pinned and was now thrusting viciously in and out of the child, too intoxicated by the rush of power that was going to his head.

Bel really couldn't think coherently; all he knew was that he was finally,  _finally_ able to give back what he had been forced to suffer through – and he  _liked_ it.

* * *

It was rare for the mansion to be empty, but today had been one of those days where no one else was home except for Bel. He had counted down the hours until Xanxus would return as he rested in bed with his Froggy in his arms. The child was crying into his side, but he didn't mind; all that mattered was that he was finally not alone.

He ran his fingers tenderly down Fran's exposed side. He whispered, "The prince  _had_ to do it, Froggy; he had to get you to love him. If you love the prince, he won't have to hurt you anymore; that's why he loves Xanxus-sama and the others."

Fran didn't reply; he only cried harder.

"Xanxus-sama fucks me really hard, just like I had to do to Froggy," Bel explained as he now dragged his hand repeatedly through soft teal locks. "But I don't want to fuck Froggy like that. I want to make love to Froggy, just like how Squalo makes love to me every night. Will Froggy let me make love to him tomorrow?"

Bel sighed as he was ignored again. It was okay; his cute little Froggy would eventually get used to him, just like how he loved Xanxus and Squalo now, too.

He listened eagerly for the sounds of life within the mansion and, when he finally heard Xanxus shouting for him, he grinned widely as he jumped out of bed and ran downstairs.

"Xanxus-sama!" Bel stopped in front of the man as he bounced on the spot with joy. "Xanxus-sama, I did it! I did it!"

"Let me see." Xanxus moved up the stairs and into Bel's bedroom. He stood in the doorway so he could observe the crying child on the bed. Bel stood behind him, smirking in triumph.

Xanxus licked his lips before he turned the blond and patted dirty matted hair. He felt proud of what he had taught the other to do, and he couldn't wait to watch him with the kid he had chosen. In a tone that did nothing to hide his lust, he asked, "Was it nice and hard, Bel? Break him in, just like how we broke  _you_ in."

Bel nodded. His grin never faltered as he knelt before the man so he could give pleasure without being asked. Oh, he was  _so_ happy right now; surely his days of depression were over!

* * *

That night was the first night Bel had slept peacefully, and he knew it was because he had Fran by his side. He had clung tight to the child once he had decided he wanted to sleep, and even in slumber he refused to let go of his new friend; how could he risk waking up and finding Fran gone after everything he had done to get him?

But even so, his dreams weren't tranquil by any means, but at least tonight they didn't involve him reliving the abuse over and over and  _over_ again – instead, he was dreaming of his future with Fran. He was resting well, but when he felt large hands remove his grip on his Froggy, he snapped awake out of fear and whimpered.

"N-no…" Bel tightened his hold on Fran as he searched through his haze for the intruder. "D-don't take him from me…"

"It's okay, Bel." It was only Lussuria, and this was enough for Bel to relax slightly. "It's okay. Shh…"

Bel was gently laid back down by the man, and he couldn't help but moan softly as fingers ghosted beneath his shirt and over his nipples; while it disgusted Lussuria to have to do this to him, it was how Squalo had trained Bel to be soothed into sleep. His gloved digits caressed now-hard nubs, and it was enough to calm him back into a light sleep.

It wasn't until Fran was put back into bed with him however long later could Bel finally fall into a deep slumber; his arms wrapped around his Froggy and held him close as he quickly became dead to the world once more; he loved his Froggy so much, and he hoped one day Fran would love him back as well.


	10. I Don't Understand

In the few days that had passed since Bel had kidnapped Fran, he couldn't have been happier; he finally felt as if he were no longer alone, and with the way the child cried and screamed every time he went near the younger, he was certain Fran was quickly starting to love him with all his heart – at least, that was what Xanxus had told him, and he knew Xanxus  _never_ lied.

It was while they were the only ones awake for the night that Bel decided he could finally give the teal-haired child the full brunt of his love; he couldn't contain it anymore; he  _had_ to love his cute little Fran as much as he possibly could.

"Just lay there," Bel whispered as he held his lover down on the mattress. He ran his hand over flesh that was so caked in dried blood, it was impossible to know where it had come from. He grinned as he grabbed one of the kitchen knives he had taken from downstairs off his bedside table; he could finally show the other that he could love even more than  _Xanxus_ could. "It will be okay; I love you, Froggy."

Fran's emerald eyes stared at the blade as he shook harder than he ever had before. He wanted to cry and beg and plead for Bel to let him go home, but he was too scared; what if he said something and made Bel go even crazier?

"You love me, don't you, Froggy?" Bel danced the blade over Fran's skin. "You love me as much as I love Xanxus-sama. I can see it in your fear."

Fran screamed as the knife was pushed into his body, and from where Bel was leaning against him, he felt his tormentor's shaft harden against his own hip. He watched with tear-filled eyes as Bel raised the bloodied blade to his lips and licked it clean.

It was then he took his chance; while the blond was so distracted, examining the knife for any blood he may have missed, Fran kicked out and drove the knife deep into the other's stomach.

The teen didn't know what upset him more; the fact that Fran was now running away from him, or the feelings of having been used and lied to and  _betrayed_ that were now running rampart through his mind. He had given Fran everything he had, treated him with as much love as he could muster, and the only thing he could think about was the fact that Fran had only used him and hadn't loved him in return at all.

Bel pulled his shaking hand from his stomach and reached into the distance as his vision slowly faded out. He grasped at air as tears ran down his cheeks. He whimpered repeatedly for Fran; despite what had happened, he would forgive the smaller boy if he could just. Come. Back. He didn't want to be alone; not when he had finally experienced happiness for the first time in eight years.

"F-froggy…" Bel had never felt so betrayed. "Froggy… Come back… D-don't… Don't leave me alone…"

* * *

Bel had long-since collapsed onto his bed, feeling so sick, it was unbearable. The knife was still in his stomach, and blood continued to pool around him, albeit at a slower rate now. He could hear the others standing in the hallway, talking loudly not far from his room.

"B-but Bel-chan…!" Bel had never heard Lussuria sound so stressed; what was going on…? "W-we can't leave him…!"

"Forget him!" Xanxus snarled. "He's useless to us!"

"The cops are outside," Squalo inputted. "We have to go  _now!"_

Bel didn't care about what they were talking about; he just wished he'd hurry up and die already. He closed his eyes as the talking outside was replaced by the sounds of running feet. He was smart enough to know that they were abandoning him; something had happened, and they only cared about saving themselves. Had Fran told someone what had happened…?

 _I thought you loved me…_ Bel couldn't stop the tears that slipped down his pale cheeks as he tried to understand why everyone he loved  _didn't_ love  _him_ back.  _Why are you leaving me here…? Lussuria…? I thought… I thought… at least_ you _… loved me…_

Silence filled the air for several minutes before footsteps and unfamiliar voices became audible. Bel didn't care what happened to him; he honestly hoped he would die. He closed his eyes as he willed death to come to him, but as always, life just wanted to fuck him around. His bedroom door opened, and someone approached him. He could feel hands on his body, but he didn't acknowledge any of it; he simply forced himself into thoughts so focused, he blocked out every bit of external stimuli around him.


	11. Athazagoraphobia

Bel didn't know how long it had been since he had been abandoned; all he knew was that, when his eyes opened again, he was in a room so blindingly white; it was hurting his head. He took notice of the sun's partially-hidden rays shining through the window opposite him, but there was no view; only the grey sky that denoted the storms to come.

The teenager felt numb, perhaps more benumbed than he had ever felt. He didn't know where he was, but he didn't care; nothing mattered anymore now that he was alone again.

He curled into a ball, hissing as his stomach wound burned angrily at the movement. He could feel blood streaming from the penetration, but that wasn't important; maybe if he were lucky, death would finally claim him.

"You're awake."

Bel tensed at the unfamiliar voice. He didn't try to look behind him; he simply let the footsteps approach him; what could they  _possibly_ do to him he hadn't already experienced? He was used to it, and if he had to live like it for the rest of his life, then so be it.

He shivered as a hand rested on his shoulder, but he didn't speak; he stared straight ahead at the empty chair by the bed he laid on. He could almost envision Lussuria sitting by his side, whispering soothing words, but it would never happen again; Lussuria had abandoned him, just like everyone else. Maybe the past eight years with him had been a lie, and he was stupid to believe that Lussuria could  _ever_ love someone like him… Hell, even his  _family_ probably hadn't cared to search for him after the abduction.

"How does your stomach feel?"

There was that voice again. He  _hated_ it. He knew that beneath the calm, kind tone there was resentment for him and his very existence. They probably didn't even care if he was in pain. Maybe that was what they wanted.

"You've been out for a week."

He sincerely wished whoever it was would just. Stop.  _Talking._ He wanted to be alone, to suffer in silence. If no one wanted him in their life, he was just fine being by himself – that was what he had been this whole time, right?

"The police have been waiting for you to wake up to interview you. They haven't been able to track any of them down, but when they do, they think there'll be enough evidence to hold them without trial."

Those words did nothing for Bel. He wasn't sure how he felt towards Xanxus and the others, how he felt about the things they had done to him. For eight years they had been all he knew. At just eight-years-old, he had been taught that the things they did to him meant they loved him. And now, at sixteen, he couldn't even find the strength to doubt them, to question if what they had done to him was right or wrong. He was tired, and he wanted to put an end to his life.

He shuddered as he felt a hand ghost through his blond locks. He closed his eyes, sighing to himself, not liking the fact that he couldn't see from his left eye, blinding him to the actions of the person behind him.

"Well, I guess you must be exhausted. I'll leave you to rest."

Bel couldn't even find it in himself to cry as those footsteps left the room. The truth was, he didn't want to be alone, no matter how much he tried to tell himself he was okay. If having a stranger stand in the room behind him, just  _talking_ to him – even if they fucking  _despised_ him – was what it took for him to feel as if he weren't facing life by himself, he would take it. He would give anything to have someone by his side, to love him for real, to care for him and look after him.

Somehow, Bel knew in his heart that that was all just wishful thinking.


	12. New Home, Same Life?

Within the several months that Bel had remained in the hospital, he hadn't had any visitors. He had spent his days alone, just staring out of the window while crying himself to sleep. His mind was so jumbled, he found it impossible to think, unable to focus on anything except how bad he was feeling. He hadn't said a single word to any of the nurses who would come in to check on him; he would only recoil violently if they dared reach out to touch him.

The boy had been told something about a foster family, but he hadn't been listening properly; his head was pounding, and the thoughts of how much he wanted to die prevented him from taking in much of the happenings around him – it was hard to focus when one's head and heart both screamed for suicide, after all.

Just like every other day, Bel was curled into a ball as he stared out of the window so he could watch the rain pelt angrily against the glass. The flashes of lightning and roaring thunder frightened him, and all he could think about was how Lussuria had always made him feel better when it stormed.

He still thought about them, slowly coming to terms with the fact that what they said to him and how they had trained him to think hadn't be true after all; if they really  _had_ loved him, they wouldn't have abandoned him as they fled from the police that night. They wouldn't have left him in this hospital with staff who seemed to care nothing about his wellbeing; they would be there with him, comforting him.

He simply felt used by them, just like how he felt used by Fran. They had merely used his body for things that hurt and terrified him, and they hadn't cared, just like his family. They hadn't cared, just like the nurses who came into his room and silently left food he didn't eat anyway on his bedside table. They didn't care, just like his peers who had bullied and tormented him, and the teachers who did nothing to stop it.

"Hello, there."

Bel lifted his head to look over his shoulder as a voice filled the air. He found a nurse holding the door open while a brown-haired woman stepped further into the room with a familiar sandy-haired male following close behind her.

"Tsu-kun has told me a lot about you," the newcomer said softly. She was smiling, and her eyes were the gentlest he had seen in a long while. "When he heard about what had happened, he told me straight away. He was pretty upset his friend being so hurt. We're going to take you home with us."

Bel didn't reply; he just let his head rest against the pillow once more as he counted how many drops of rain were trailing down the window.

"Oh, Tsuna-kun, what did you say his name was again?" Bel wasn't surprised to hear these words; no one ever seemed to know his name, or even try to remember it.

"B-belphegor," the small brunet squeaked out. His hair was messy and spiking upstairs, but his soft brown eyes regarded Bel with an expression he had never seen before. "I think he goes by Bel mostly, though."

Speaking of names, Bel didn't know who the brunet was; he had seen him and his friends around school, but he had never spoken to them. To be honest, he hadn't been  _bullied_ by them; the most interactions they had had was when Bel had stabbed that student and they intervened. Even so, he didn't like the other.

"U-um, Bel-san…" the other teen fidgeted as he stepped closer to the bed. He looked anywhere but at the blond. "I don't think we've actually met before… M-my name is Tsunayoshi…"

Bel made no acknowledgement of the other; he only moved his gaze back to the window.

"We're going to have to sedate him for you to get him back to your home," the accompanying nurse explained. "He's very uncooperative and doesn't let us touch him. It will be easier for you this way."

If Bel had heard those words, he might have been more responsive, but it wasn't until he felt the prick in his arm did he scream and thrash about; what was this needle for? Did they want to give him back to Xanxus?

Slowly, Bel's writhing died down as his body became too heavy for him to move so erratically. His heart continued to race against his chest, but even when arms wrapped around him and pulled him from the bed, he couldn't do anything; he could only let snippets of conversation float in and out of his mind as he was carried from his hospital room.

Somewhere along the way, he fell asleep; his strength had been used up trying to fight the demons that lived inside his head.


	13. Cries of the Broken

Bel didn't feel safe in his new family's home. He wanted to run away and go somewhere no one would ever find him, but the threats Xanxus had made for all those years had stuck with him, and even now he couldn't shake them.

It wasn't that Nana – as he had been introduced – or Tsuna had done anything to him; it was that he couldn't trust them  _not_ to hurt him. Nana had brought him into the house and rested him on the couch before she bustled off to do her own thing, but who was to say she wasn't plotting something?

He didn't get much of a chance to ponder on it too long because after however long it had been since his arrival, Tsuna was standing by the couch, fumbling his hands together. "U-uh, Bel-san…? M-mum wants to know if you're hungry…?"

Bel felt a shudder run through his body at these words; all too often had Xanxus and Squalo "fed" him with their own seed. Was the same thing going to happen  _here…?_

But honestly, the blond  _was_ hungry; he had refused all food at the hospital, leading to a malnourished frame on his body. The only thing he knew he was allowed to have without question was semen – it had been the only thing that had sustained him during his time with Xanxus and the others.

He reached out and grabbed Tsuna's hips. His eyes clouded over as he struggled to stay focused on his mission to unzip the younger's pants, suddenly feeling so hungry, he  _needed_ to feed himself. He could feel his stomach eating itself as he took what felt like an eternity to lower the zip, but before he could get much further into his task, he was pushed away and Tsuna was  _gone_.

The blond sighed as he rolled around to face the back of the couch. He wanted to cry, but he didn't want to show a weakness to others lest they use it against him; he had been through too much already, and he just couldn't bear to go through any more.

He didn't know how happy he was going to be here. He was used to being starved on occasion so he would suck greedily at the men to satisfy his hunger, but here he couldn't even do  _that_. Oh well… With a bit of luck, they would put him out of his misery soon enough.

* * *

Dinner that same night wasn't easy for Bel; he had been led away from his comfortable couch and into a dining room filled with other people. There was Nana and Tsuna, as he had expected, as well as several babies and a young boy with brown hair who looked as if he could have been around Fran's age, maybe a little older.

Bel sat next to Tsuna with no one else on his other side. A plate of food had been pushed in front of him, but he wanted to throw up as the smell wafted through his nostrils. It wasn't that it smelt bad – in fact, it smelt so good his stomach was starting to hurt from hunger pains again – but he was too afraid to touch it; what if this was a trap? Tears welled up in his eyes as he pushed the food away so he could wrap his arms around himself.

"Bel-san…?" Tsuna abandoned his food in favour of turning to face Bel. He tried to put his hand on the older male's shoulder, but he quickly pulled back when the blond flinched and threw himself off the chair to escape the touch. He watched with horrified eyes as his new housemate dragged himself along the ground he had just fallen onto until he had disappeared back into the living room.

Tsuna went to get up to chase after Bel to talk to him, to reassure the other that it was  _okay_ and  _no one_ here wanted to hurt him. It was agonising to watch someone suffer so much, but he had barely risen from his chair when his mother shook her head at him.

"Leave him be, Tsuna-kun…" She sounded remorseful, but she understood; after everything she had been told about what had happened to Bel, it was understandable the boy wanted to be left alone.

Tsuna nodded. He sat back down with a frown on his face; he couldn't imagine how Bel was feeling, and quite frankly… he didn't  _want_ to be able to understand. Did that make him a bad person? Of course it did, and he  _hated_ himself for that.

Bel had returned to his couch. He was curled up, trembling as he tried to stop his crying, but it was so hard when all he wanted was to die; he hated life so much and he just wanted everything to end.

"B-bel-san…?"

Bel flinched before he slowly rolled himself over and found Tsuna standing behind him with a plate full of food. He watched the other warily, but he didn't speak; he  _couldn't_.

"I thought you might be hungry…" The brunet held out the plate like it were a peace offering in hopes that the older male wouldn't attack him for trying to be kind; he knew of the reputation Bel had at their school, but part of him believed it was more than exaggerated; he had seen the way Bel had been bullied, and it was  _very_ rare for him to do anything other than cower and wait for them to leave him alone.

Bel looked away, refusing the plate. He curled up again so he was hiding his face against the back of the couch, but he listened closely to what was going on behind him; if Tsuna dared try to do anything to him, he'd…!

"I'll just leave it here in case you change your mind…" There was the sound of something being placed on top of the coffee table before footsteps slowly faded out of the living room.

Bel waited until the house was in silence before he sat up and grabbed the plate so he could devour the food while it was still there and no one could take it away from him. He didn't care if it would get him a beating later; he was just so fucking  _hungry_.

* * *

"I've gotten Bel-kun into bed," Nana stood in the doorway of Tsuna's bedroom so she could explain the situation to her son. She wasn't holding her usual smile on her face; instead, she held a look of exhaustion that made her look so much older than she really was. "I don't think he's going to sleep very well, so try and be quiet until he settles in."

Tsuna nodded. He put the controller to his gaming console down so he could stand up and walk to his mother. "Do you really think it's safe to let him sleep in a room by himself…? What if he tries to run away, or do something stupid?"

"Bel-kun is really scared of people," Nana acknowledged. "He needs his own space until he's ready to trust us."

Tsuna nodded. He wished he knew how to help Bel, but he truly had no  _idea_ about how the things Bel had been through must be affecting him. He was No-Good Tsuna; he would probably only make things worse if he tried to help his new companion.

"You should be going to bed soon, too, Tsuna-kun." She smiled at her son. "Goodnight."

"Yeah, night, mum." As he walked back to where he had been sitting, he wondered if he should check on Bel before he went to bed or if it was best to leave the boy by himself. He wished he could do something to help, but soon enough, when crying filled the house, he realised just how much of a lousy friend he really was as his anxiety won out and he stayed put in his bedroom, leaving Bel to suffer alone.

Tsuna was a useless friend, and Bel deserved  _so_ much better than  _him_.


	14. I Just Want to Feel Okay

By the time Tsuna had awoken and came downstairs for breakfast, Bel was already awake and laying on the couch once again with the TV playing quietly across from him. He greeted Bel on his way, but the older teen only tensed further.

Tsuna sighed. He tried not to take it to heart and instead he stepped into the dining room to eat breakfast with his family. He grabbed his plate and said to his mother, "Yamamoto and Gokudera-kun are coming over today."

"Oh, how exciting." Nana turned around to beam at her son. She was so fond of the two Tsuna called friends; the brunet couldn't have picked anyone better, she knew. "Could you three take Bel-kun out for some fresh air? It won't do to keep him cooped up on the couch."

Tsuna wasn't sure if that was a good idea; while Yamamoto was a very easy-going kid with a cheerful personality and willing to befriend anyone, Gokudera was  _much_ more problematic, and ever since he had had that knife turned against him that day at school, he had  _hated_ Bel. Gokudera held grudges  _much_ too easily, and trusting was even harder for him.

But still… Bel  _needed_ them…

"I'll talk to them and see what they want to do," Tsuna promised. While he couldn't rely on Gokudera to agree, at least he could count on Yamamoto to want to help as much as he could. He changed the subject. "Has he eaten yet?"

"I left a plate of food on the coffee table for him. I haven't checked if he's eaten it yet."

Tsuna nodded. "What time did he wake up?"

"Well, he was already watching the TV since I got up, and that was around six."

It sounded to Tsuna as if they had an insomniac on their hands, or at least someone who greatly feared sleep. Could he really help someone like this? Or would he be doomed for failure like with everything else he tried?

He sighed. "I'm going to check on him, mum. Actually, I'm going to eat breakfast with him."

Nana smiled in response as he went back to dishing meals up for everyone. Tsuna took his plate into the living room, but no matter how tense the blond had become, he persevered; he  _had_ to do this, if only to get the other used to people being around him again.

"Hey, Bel…" Tsuna didn't sit on the couch with the older male. Instead, he sat at the coffee table with his legs folded beneath him so he could see Bel and the TV at the same time. He gestured to the plate that looked to be untouched next to his. "Are you hungry? You can eat."

Bel shook his head. He wished he had a blanket with him to hide under, but he was out in the open and far too exposed for his own liking.

"It's good," the brunet promised. "I'm sure you'll like it. Have you had it before?"

He should have known better than to expect a response because Bel didn't even move his head; he only rolled over so his back was to the younger. The smaller male frowned; how messed up Bel had become…

"My friends will be here shortly." Tsuna wasn't about to give up; he had to keep trying. "I think you know them, too; Yamamoto and Gokudera…? Umm… Gokudera… Gokudera will be grumpy, but I know Yamamoto would really like you, Bel. …He talks about you a lot…"

It took several seconds, but Bel lifted his head slightly at these words to peer at the brunet. "…"

Tsuna dropped his gaze so he was looking at his lap. "…Umm… It's hard to explain… How he doesn't really even know you, but he already likes you… I… I'm scared of saying the wrong thing to you about it… But it's true… I like you, too, Bel…"

Bel dropped his head back to the couch; what was the other talking about…? Of course they didn't like him; who  _could_ ever like him? He was… so pathetic… They must hate him so much… "…"

The younger fell silent. He ate his food slowly, but even when he finished, he never left the room; not until the doorbell rang. He got up and answered the door, thankful to see that his friends had arrived; surely they knew what they could do.

"Guys, I have to tell you something important…" Tsuna frowned at the twin looks of concern on their faces; they worried so much… "Mum… My mum took Bel-san in."

While Yamamoto's eyes immediately glinted with joy, Gokudera looked horrified. "What… did you say, Tenth…?"

Tsuna sighed as he repeated himself to his best friend. "I said that my mother took Bel-san in."

Gokudera's eyes held nothing but hatred as he replied in a bitter tone. "I wouldn't trust him; he might be up to something."

"Now, now, Gokudera," Yamamoto soothed in his familiar soft voice. "It's not Bel's fault he went through what he has. He must be much more afraid than we thought."

"He tried to  _stab_ me!" Gokudera argued.

"Don't fight!" The brunet put his hands up as he tried to calm the older teens. "Don't fight, guys! Gokudera-kun, Bel-san is…  _broken_ … He's just laid on the couch all morning watching TV… He hasn't eaten anything, and he hasn't said a single word since we took him in… He's just…  _scared_ …"

"If he hurts you, Tenth, I'll fucking  _kill_ him!"

Tsuna sighed; of course Gokudera didn't want to be easy… "Anyway, mum wants us to take Bel-san out into town today," the smallest male explained. "She says he might need some fresh air."

"Will he come with us?" Yamamoto cocked his head to the side; he had a feeling it wasn't going to be that simple.

"We can only try." Tsuna led the older two back to the living room. When they got there, they saw the way Bel's breathing caught in his throat and he tensed so much, he looked  _much_ smaller than he really was. Was it being in a group that was frightening him so terribly? If it was, it was understandable.

"Bel-san…?" Tsuna had noticed how the other two had stopped in the doorway to give Bel some space as Tsuna approached. He knelt by the couch when he got there, and on his face he held a wary smile before he said, "M-mum… wanted us to take you into town to get you some fresh air… D-do you want to come with us…?"

Bel  _didn't_ want that at all, but he was so scared of the idea of earning another beating, he nodded. He slowly pushed himself into a sitting position; he was a good boy, he  _knew_ he was a good boy, and he wasn't going to disobey anymore – please… Just… Just no more punishments…

"You have some clothes upstairs…" Tsuna looked over his shoulder at his friends for morale support. Yamamoto nodded at him to keep it up, so he did. He looked back at Bel. "Mum bought you some… You should get dressed so we can leave soon…"

Bel nodded. He made his way upstairs into the bedroom he had been given last night. He was thankful no one had followed him; at least  _this_ morning he wasn't going to have to deal with the things he had once been so accustomed to.

Back downstairs, Yamamoto frowned. "It didn't look like he  _wanted_ to agree…"

"I think he was too scared to say no…" Tsuna sighed. He looked to Gokudera. "Gokudera-kun,  _please_ be on your best behaviour with him… He hurts very much, and he just needs someone to trust…"

Gokudera reluctantly nodded; he would do it for Tsuna, but that didn't mean he had to like the blond.

"He's been up there for a while," Yamamoto pointed out. "Do you think he's okay?"

"We'll give him just a bit longer; he might get upset if we go in while he's trying to get dressed."

Yamamoto hummed in agreement. He knew the truth behind Bel's old life, and it broke his heart; he wanted so desperately to do whatever he could to help, but  _would_ Bel allow any of them to help? He had no idea.

He hoped one day Bel would come around to them and let them in; he had only ever told Tsuna of his new feelings towards other males, and he was sure that the blond was someone he would love to explore himself with one day; Bel was so broken and in need of love and comfort, and he was sure he could give the other everything he needed – but how did he convey that to someone who had been so brutally assaulted most of their life? He wasn't sure if he could ever tell the older male any of this as he was sure if Bel ever found it, it would only cause more fear within the abused boy, and that was what they all  _needed_ to avoid.

He knew it was strange to feel such strong emotion to someone he barely knew, but he had seen Bel around school enough to know that the other was broken, and every time he laid eyes on the other, all he knew was that he wanted to be the one to piece him back together and admire the  _true_ Bel beneath all of that sadness and fear.

It was when Bel came back downstairs ten minutes later with his new striped shirt he already liked so much and a fresh pair of black jeans did he stop before the group. He couldn't approach them; he needed his space. He wished there had been a jacket amongst his new clothes; he felt so self-conscious about the multitudes of scarring and bruises all over his body, despite his long-sleeved shirt hiding his arms already.

But despite all that, the most important thing of all was that his new jeans had pockets big enough for him to hide the knife he had taken from the kitchen upon waking up; he couldn't rely on  _anyone_ to protect him – hell, to not  _hurt_ him – so whatever he had to do to protect what little was left of his sanity, he was going to do it.


	15. If I Knew How to Help, I Swear I Would

Bel was slowly getting used to being outside with the other teenagers. They never tried to force him to talk, and they paid attention to him. They didn't mind stopping whenever Bel froze on the spot to curl in on himself in fear; they were  _patient_ with him, and it was something that Bel couldn't understand properly.

He shadowed along in silence, never getting too close to any of them, until he followed them inside a building. His trembling became worse; where were they, and what were they doing in here? He felt his breathing pick up in panic; there were too many people here; were they all going to take turns with him…?

"What do you want to eat, Bel?"

Bel almost jumped out of his skin at Yamamoto's voice. He didn't understand the question; how could there be food here? Did places really exist where you could  _eat_ at them?

Although… As he looked around at his new surroundings, everyone else here  _did_ have food and drinks in front of them at the tables… He swallowed thickly. "…"

Yamamoto understood. He wanted to reach out and wrap his arm around Bel's shoulders and hold him close as he promised everything was going to be okay, but he knew better than that; instead, he smiled. "I'll buy you some dango. Do you like dango?"

The blond could only stand there in shock; what was Yamamoto planning? Where were they? What was going on? He hugged himself tight as he looked away and bit at his lip; why would the younger ask him such a question? Didn't Yamamoto know he'd never even  _heard_ of dango…?

"I'm going to get you some dango, Bel. Okay?" Yamamoto's smile never faltered as he turned back to his friends so they could walk further into the building to talk to someone behind a counter.

Bel watched in stunned silence as they all passed money back and forth. He was too far back to hear what they were saying, but when they returned to his side, the thoughts in his head only seemed to race more and more; where were they taking him now…? To a table…? But why…?

"Have you ever been out to a place like this before, Bel?" Yamamoto slid into the booth seat first before he patted the empty space next to him in invitation for Bel to sit down, too.

Bel shook his head; he had walked to and from school and been forced to do the shopping, but he had  _never_ been allowed out into town like  _this_ before; he had always had a time limit set for him to do his errands and that was end of story.

"They have very nice food here." Tsuna felt much more comfortable now that he had his friends here to help him. He wanted to do his best to make Bel feel comfortable with them as well, but he knew it wouldn't be easy; they just needed patience was all. "Yamamoto bought you some dango and a cup of tea."

Bel nodded. He stared down as he picked at the stitching of his pants; when could they go home…?

He listened to the younger three converse. He was so focused on them that when a new voice by his side took him by surprise, he jumped backwards into Yamamoto. He flinched, prepared for the beating that was never going to come.

"It's okay, Bel." Yamamoto didn't mind what had happened. He reached out and patted the boy's shoulder. "It's just the waitress here with our food."

Bel wiped at his eyes. He didn't understand it properly, but Yamamoto reminded him of Lussuria and how safe he had always felt with the man. He nodded as he fought against an oncoming panic attack.

The tallest of the group took the cup of tea that had been placed onto the table and pushed it towards Bel. "Have a sip. It'll help you relax."

Bel grabbed the mug with shaking hands. He winced as some of it spilt down the side of the cup and onto his lap, but he couldn't let the others know that; it'd only get him into trouble. He slowly raised it to his lips, and with another wince, he sipped gradually; it tasted good, but how much of it was he  _allowed_ …?

Tsuna smiled when Bel put the cup down again. "Feeling better?"

Bel nodded. He looked at the dango sticks on the plate in front of him, debating on if he should pick one up; it looked delicious, but would they let him eat…?

"Go on." Yamamoto pushed the plate closer in encouragement. "It's good. You'll like it."

Bel gradually gathered up the emotional courage to reach out and pick up one of the sticks. He raised it slowly to his mouth as the smell of it made his stomach churn in starvation. He glanced around at the younger three, noticing that, so far, they seemed harmless.

He poked his tongue out and licked at the dango. A small smile crossed his face as he realised he liked the taste of the sticky treat, but before he could get another taste of it, there was the sound of smashing glass he  _knew_ was a warning. He dropped the dango to the floor and brought his knees to his chest as tears rolled down his cheeks. He should have known he wasn't allowed to eat; he had been taught better by Xanxus, and he was stupid to think that  _here_ would be any different.

He really felt so pathetic…

"Don't cry, Bel; you still have another one." Yamamoto grabbed the second stick of dango that rested on Bel's plate. He tried to hold it out to the blond, but the other only turned his head away and kept his mouth clamped shut.

Tsuna and Yamamoto looked at each other with frowns on their faces while Gokudera looked anywhere but at Bel. It was Yamamoto who broke the uncomfortable silence. "I think we should get him home."

"If that glass didn't break, he would have eaten something…" Tsuna couldn't believe how unlucky it had been; they could have had the breakthrough they needed to get Bel to at least eat, but life didn't want to make this easy for  _any_ of them.

* * *

When they returned home, Bel went straight back to the couch. He didn't care that the TV wasn't on; he curled into a ball and cried. It broke Tsuna's heart, and the least he could do was invite Bel to stay with them and hope for the best – so when he walked into the living room and watched as Bel dragged a knife through his wrists, he screamed.

Nana was the first to arrive on the scene, and Tsuna couldn't believe how calm she was as she took the bloodstained knife away from wrists  _covered_ in blood. She somehow managed to get him up and usher him into the bathroom for first aid, leaving a trail of blood through the house as they went.

Tsuna's eyes were damp as he continued to stand there and stare at all the blood that stained the couch; he had tried so hard with Bel, but he couldn't help but feel as if the other was  _never_ going to trust anyone again.


	16. Does That Mean?

Two days later, Bel was going back to school. He was silent as he walked with Tsuna through the quiet streets with his schoolbag clutched to his chest tightly; he wanted to stay home on the couch he loved so much, but how did he explain that when he wouldn't speak anymore?

Tsuna wasn't about to give up on the other though. He smiled at the boy trailing behind him as he asked, "Do you want to sit with us for lunchbreaks? We always have somewhere quiet to sit."

Bel nodded. He would much rather sit alone, but he knew that if he did so, he could only continue to be bullied; at least if he sat with Tsuna's group, the chances of being picked on would lessen.

"Come to our classroom after the bell," the brunet explained. "We'll wait for you."

Bel nodded again. He hadn't been back to school after he had been abandoned, and he could only imagine the rumours that would be flying around now; were things going to be worse than ever for him? Or would people  _finally_ leave him alone?

It was quiet between them as they continued their walk. It didn't take long for them to meet up with Yamamoto and Gokudera, and when they did, Yamamoto immediately came to stand before Bel with a big smile on his face.

"Yo, Bel!" Yamamoto swung his schoolbag from his shoulder so he could open it and reach inside. He pulled out a small container and held it out in front of Bel. "I heard from someone that you like sushi, and my pop owns a sushi restaurant so we made some for you this morning."

Bel frowned. He reached out tentatively to accept the container. He hesitated, but soon enough he was holding it tight. He didn't know who could possibly have known he liked sushi, but he wasn't going to complain; if this happened every morning he would be happy.

"That's so nice of you, Yamamoto." Tsuna smiled at his friend, so grateful for the other's endless kindness. He turned back to Bel. "We'll put it in your bag so you don't drop it, okay?"

Bel nodded. He slipped the container into his bag amongst all his school books, looking forward to when he could eat it; he didn't know if those kids would let him eat, but… surely, if he could sneak away somewhere…

Gokudera, who had been asked – begged, was a better word – to try with Bel, stuck his nose into the air. "Tenth said if you want any help with your school work that I can teach you. I help them, so I guess I can do the same for you."

The blond shook his head. He knew Gokudera didn't like him, but even if the younger  _did,_ he still would have declined the offer; it would be just too stressful for him.

"Gokudera-kun…" Tsuna knew that his friend was at least  _trying_ to do the right thing, but the silver-haired teen just wasn't the kind of person who got along with others easily.

As the group walked again, Bel found himself becoming more and more lost in his thoughts until finally, he had fallen so far behind the group, they had almost lost him.

"Bel-san?"

Bel looked up at his name. He frowned as he ran to catch up with them; he was a good boy, and good boys didn't fall behind like that. He flinched when he felt Yamamoto pat his shoulder, but to his relief, nothing else happened.

"Bel-san is going to sit with us for lunchbreaks," Tsuna explained to his friends. "He's going to come to our class after the bell so he's not waiting by himself."

"Awesome! Welcome to the group, Bel!" Yamamoto laughed as he ruffled dirty blond locks affectionately.

Bel flinched, but he didn't recoil; at least now, hopefully, he wasn't going to be a target for bullying any longer.

* * *

Bel kept his hands in his pockets and his head down as he waited for the younger three to finish putting their belongs away in their lockers. He was aware of the whispers that followed him wherever he went, and the looks of pity and hatred he knew he would never be rid of felt like they had been burned into his very being. Some of the kids who had bullied him relentlessly now avoided him like he was the plague, and others went out of their way to only make things worse for him.

He was standing patiently by the lockers as other kids walked past him. He minded his own business as he tried to recall the classes he had for that day, but it still wasn't enough for the other students; someone rammed their shoulder into his chest as they passed by, knocking him against the wall. He said nothing; he only tensed further.

"Bet you got used to that one years ago!" the other called over their shoulder. Bel knew they were referring to Xanxus and his beatings.

"Bel-san, come over here." Tsuna guided the older male closer to them so he could step in front of Bel and allow no one to touch the other without going through him first.

Bel listened in silence as his companions got ready for their first class. He let out a breath of relief when they could finally move again and go upstairs for Bel to do the same. He had almost thought things would be better up here where less people were around, but it only made things worse; before them stood his vandalised locker with  _stupid whore!_ spray-painted across it.

Tsuna put his arms over Bel's shoulders so he could turn the older teen around and protect him from the vandalism. "Let's go back downstairs; you can put your stuff in my locker."

Bel nodded. It was hard to keep his tears in, but he knew he had to; it would only make things harder for himself otherwise. They went back downstairs and made their way through the sea of people with Tsuna and Yamamoto shielding their timid friend protectively until they had gotten back to their lockers and stored the blond's belongings with Tsuna's. He grabbed what he needed for his math class and hugged them tight to his chest as he waited anxiously for his next set of orders.

"You can stay down here with us," Tsuna promised. "We'll go back upstairs with you when it's time for class."

Bel nodded. He stuck close to the younger three, relieved that he at least had them for the time being; he would never have been able to handle this if he were alone after all. He tried to listen to their conversations as they stayed by the lockers and block everything else out, and whether or not it had been for the better or worse, it had worked; he hadn't noticed the footsteps that came up behind him until he had been shoved to the ground with all of his belongings scattering everywhere as he fell.

"Look at the little cocksucker!"

Bel thrust his hands over his ears as he tried so desperately to block everything out.

"Bet he liked it, being fucked up the ass all day every day."

He curled into a ball, not knowing what else to do. He didn't want any of this. He had  _never_ wanted this kind of life. All he had wanted was to be a normal kid and grow up alongside his twin brother. He had wanted to laugh with his family and sleep in his warm bed he shared with his twin. He wanted to eat with them, to cry with them.

Anything… But  _this_.

"Stop it!"

Bel cracked his only good eye open as he heard Tsuna speak in a voice so strong, he had never expected it from someone so nervous. He listened as the brunet stood up for him, and he couldn't believe it; no one had done that for him in so long…

"Are you okay, Bel?" Yamamoto was by his side with a soft, concerned expression on his face. He frowned when Bel shook his head. He helped the older male into a sitting position as he said, "I'll get your stuff for you."

The crowd of onlookers didn't know who to cheer for as they watched No-Good Tsuna go against a pack of bullies; he was such a timorous kid, they had never thought he could be riled up like this.

The blond got to his feet. He watched Yamamoto and Gokudera gather his belongings, not wanting to see what was happening with Tsuna; what if Tsuna got hurt because of him…? He shivered as the school Prefect pushed through the crowd with his tonfas bared; things were getting  _so_ much worse, and it was all  _his_ fault….

But he hadn't asked for any of this! It had just… happened…

Seeing Hibari making his way towards them was enough to disperse not only the onlookers, but the group of bullies as well, leaving just Tsuna and his group together.

"H-hibari-san!" Tsuna was back to his meek little self as he tried to explain things. "W-we weren't…! They… Just… Bel-san…!"

Hibari stared at Bel with cold eyes. He could see the tears that were dripping down his pale face as he accepted his belongings that Yamamoto was passing back to him. He could deduce what had happened and, since there had really been no damage to his beloved school, he let it go; even  _he_ wasn't heartless enough to target Bel once word had gotten around about what he had been through.

Yamamoto wrapped his arms around Bel's shoulders as he walked the blond back to Tsuna and Gokudera. The silver-haired male had been silent as pity for Bel continued to grow inside of him.

"Are you okay, Bel-san?" Tsuna's eyes were soft as Gokudera and Hibari watched the damaged boy. "I didn't…"

Tsuna's words trailed off as Bel dropped his things and instead reached out so he could curl his slender fingers in the brown jacket of the brunet's uniform. He stood, stunned, as the older boy dropped his face onto his shoulder and  _cried_ ; why was he now suddenly seeking comfort after being so fearful…?

Hibari looked away when Tsuna gave him a helpless look. "Take him into my office and stay with him until he is calm. Then you will  _all_ return to class."

Tsuna nodded. He brought his hands up to Bel's shoulders so he could gently guide his friend upstairs once again. "It's okay, Bel-san. It's okay. We're going somewhere quiet."

Yamamoto carried Bel's belongings again as Gokudera followed behind; if  _Hibari_ of all people had taken pity on Bel, then they  _knew_ the situation was terrible.


	17. The Love Only a Twin can Give

One year had passed since Bel had been taken in by Tsuna's family. In that time, his progress had varied; there were the times he seemed to be doing okay and appeared to be comfortable with Tsuna and his friends. Other times he was withdrawn and tearful, and the slightest thing would send him into hysterics as he tried to find somewhere to hide from the ones who had given him a new home and new life. Tsuna hadn't heard him speak a single word in all the time Bel had been with them, but he understood; the blond wasn't going to heal overnight. The suicidal behaviour had never stopped, and only too many times had an ambulance been called after a suicide attempt. Tsuna acknowledged the reasons behind that, and he could never hold the attempts against Bel; he had been broken, and the brunet wasn't the best person to try and pick up the pieces.

Gokudera had slowly let him in as he came to terms with the fact that Bel was now part of their group and, though Nana had pulled Bel from school after his first day back, spent his time by Tsuna's side. Yamamoto adored the older male and often invited him over for dinner.

Bel was loved greatly, even if he couldn't see it just yet.

Now, as he sat quietly in the dining room as he ate breakfast with everyone else, he listened to Tsuna as the younger told him about their plans for the day. He nodded in agreement when he was invited out to watch Yamamoto's baseball game, and he even agreed to going back to Gokudera's place for a few hours so they could do homework; he loved playing with the silver-haired male's cat.

"Do you want to go anywhere before we leave?" Tsuna had grown accustomed to Bel, no longer fearful of the boy; he understood that, though the blond  _had_ once been dangerous, it had  _always_ been from provocation and that  _this_ Bel only wanted someone who cared about him.

Bel shook his head as he poked at his eggs with his chopsticks. He looked up as he heard the doorbell ring. He froze; he  _hated_ visitors.

"Oh yeah." Tsuna grabbed Bel's attention once again to distract him from his stress. "Yamamoto's gonna bring Jiro so you can look after him during the game."

Bel nodded. He liked Yamamoto's dog just as much as he liked Gokudera's cat, maybe even a little more because he could throw balls for Jiro and watch as the dog chased after them. He tried to smile at the younger, but it had been so long since he had been able to do, he couldn't seem to move the required muscles anymore.

"Mum's coming back." Tsuna could hear his mother in the hallway as she spoke to a male with a deep, confident voice he didn't recognise.

Bel tensed again, hoping he would appear small enough for whoever was visiting to not notice him. He didn't look at whoever was here when they and Nana came back into the dining room; he simply inhaled deeply as Nana leant down beside him.

"Bel-kun, you have a guest."

Bel shook his head. He dropped his chopsticks onto the table as he tried to shake Nana away from him. He lifted his hands up to cover his ears to try and block out the newcomer's words, but he wasn't fast enough; he still heard them, and he froze.

"Don't you want to see me, Belphegor?" The voice sounded amused, but there was also a hint of pain in there as well – perhaps the amusement was a cover-up for what he really felt, Bel considered? "I know you were mad at me for eating your cupcakes that day, but I didn't think you'd still hold a grudge over it."

Bel blinked at those words as a very faint memory crossed his mind. He could recall on the day of the kidnapping why he had left school the way he had; his twin brother had eaten his cupcakes and it had been childish anger that had made him leave…

But… No one else should know that…

He lifted his head ever so slightly so he could take in the well-dressed appearance of his visitor. They wore brown pants with a white button-up shirt and a black jacket. Their hair was the same shade of blond as Bel's was, and the only difference between his hair and Bel's was that this male's hair was longer and his bangs were trimmed into a slight arch, unlike Bel's messy style.

The other blond moved closer to the table and opened his arms as if to invite Bel into a hug. "It's been a while, little brother."

Bel felt tears drip down his cheeks as he stood up from his chair to fall into the embrace. His fingers curled into the white shirt as he rested his face against the other's chest as a significant height difference between the two proved just how badly Bel had been neglected for all those years.

Tsuna felt his stomach twist at the scene. He understood that Bel had been reunited with his brother, and he could see just how happy his friend was about this, but at the same time, he had come to enjoy the older male's company so much, he wasn't sure if he could let the other go.

"This is Bel's older brother." Nana sat beside her son so she could explain everything. "He contacted me a few days ago. He said he had been in Japan on business after the police took Bel away, and that he had seen the news reports about it. He wanted so badly to go and take Bel home, but he was worried about how he could get him home without a passport and if he could even prove their relationship. He fought for a transfer from Italy to Japan for his work for this moment just so he could finally be with Bel-kun again."

"What's his name?" Tsuna felt bad for the older brother, knowing that, after so many years of not knowing what had happened to Bel, to have to wait another year before  _could_ do anything about it must have been unimaginably hard.

"Rasiel." Nana smiled at Tsuna before she stood up to get the twins' attention. "Would you like to stay for breakfast?"

The older twin – Rasiel – smiled as he shook his head. "Thank you, but that's okay; I ate before coming here. If it's okay with you, I'd like a cup of tea however."

Nana smiled as she bustled over to the counter and prepared tea for her guest. She knew that Rasiel was coming to take Bel home where the younger could be with family, and she understood; Bel needed someone there for him, but he would never be able to trust them like he could family.

The woman had already been told by Rasiel that their parents had died from grief shortly after Bel's disappearance, and he had been placed throughout many foster homes and orphanages just two weeks after his brother's disappearance before finally being taken in by a man named Byakuran. It had been hard for Rasiel as well, having lost all the family he had in such a short amount of time.

"You should finish your breakfast, brother." Rasiel smiled as he sat Bel back down at the table so he could pull a chair close to the younger. "You'll need your strength; we have a long walk ahead of us."

Bel frowned as he tilted his head to the side, not entirely understanding the comment; walk…?

Rasiel was hurt by Bel's lack of words, but he could only imagine the trauma his twin had lived through. He didn't let it get him down as he explained, "The walk back to my apartment. You're going to live with me from now on."

For the first time since Bel could remember, a genuine smile crossed his face; he had forever dreamt of returning to his family, but he had believed he'd been forgotten by them, or that they just hadn't cared. To finally be back with Rasiel…

Though Rasiel's smile was sincere, he still felt a tremendous amount of pain as he realised he was going to have to tell Bel that their parents were no longer with them, but that could wait; for now, Bel had to be strong and work through this first.

Nana and Tsuna smiled in appreciation as Bel finally ate his food. They didn't miss the way his hand stayed gripped tightly to Rasiel's, as if the boy was afraid the older male would disappear if he let go. Rasiel didn't seem to mind it though; he simply sat and sipped at his tea as he waited for his brother to finish eating.

"I guess we'll have to catch up with everyone another day." The brunet smiled as Bel looked at him. He was sincerely happy for the older male, but part of him had grown so fond of Bel, he almost didn't want for the abused boy to go. "I'll let them know you're back with your family."

Bel nodded. He had come to appreciate Tsuna and the others – even if he didn't feel he was capable of love anymore – and would never forget the things they had done for him over their time together.

"Finished?" Rasiel smiled down at his brother as he squeezed the smaller hand in his. "Would you like to say goodbye to everyone and then we'll leave?"

Bel nodded. He stood up from his chair and bowed politely to the others. He couldn't find the strength inside to speak, having not uttered a word since the abandonment.

"Thank you all very much for looking after him." Rasiel himself bowed next as an honest smile crossed his features. "I would appreciate it if you'd keep in contact with him; he needs some friends."

"Of course we will," Tsuna promised; he knew that Bel was deserving of every bit of love and appreciation he could get. "We'll talk to you soon, Bel."

Bel nodded. Though he was grateful to everyone who had stuck by him this past year, he was grateful most of all to the brunet who had looked past everything to see and  _give_ the acceptance Bel had once wanted most.

* * *

"It's a bit small, but it'll do for now." Rasiel smiled as Bel stepped into the apartment behind him. "We'll buy a big home one day."

The smaller blond looked around at his surroundings. Rasiel must have only recently moved in; there were a few unopened boxes tucked away against the wall with a black couch in the middle of the room and a small TV in front of it. There was a kitchen to the back that had only a few counters and nothing else, and two small rooms with futons and boxes were to their right with a bathroom on the left.

"I could only bring a few essentials with me." Rasiel kicked one of the boxes they were standing next to as if to emphasise his point. "We still need a fridge and lots of other things. Want to go shopping with me today, Bel? We can fix up the apartment however we want it. Sound good?"

Bel nodded. He was so happy to finally be back with his family, and he couldn't wait to see his parents again; he would hug them and never let them go. He wondered where they were and what they would look like now, and he was so focused on his thoughts, he didn't notice Rasiel slipping away into the bathroom next to them. It was only when the silence became deafening did Bel return to reality and notice he was alone.

His heart thumped painfully as panic overwhelmed him within seconds. He couldn't shake the feeling that Rasiel was gone again, and in his distress, he became a crying mess once again.

It was when a toilet flushed and the sound of running water took its place did Bel realise how irrational he was being – but he just couldn't help it; the thought of being all alone again… It terrified him…

"Brother?" Rasiel appeared in the bathroom doorway with concern on his features. He wiped his hands dry on paper towel before he tossed it away and moved to embrace his brother. He gently dragged his long fingers through dirty blond hair as he whispered soothingly. "Brother, it's okay. It's okay."

Bel turned and buried his face in Rasiel's chest as he returned the hug. He was only young, seventeen and trying to deal with unresolved trauma; Rasiel understood it wasn't going to be as simple as returning to Bel's life.

"I'm still here. Shh…" The stronger twin walked Bel over to the couch and sat him on the soft material. He rubbed his thumb against the other's pale cheek and rested their foreheads together. "I'm not going to leave you again, brother… Not ever…"

They had only been at their home together for not even five minutes and Rasiel felt lost; if Bel was reacting like this to him being in a different room, he was terrified of what it was going to do to his beautiful brother when his two week leave from work was up and he was going to be gone all day. He was worried it may be too hard for Bel, too soon for him to be in the apartment by himself, but he was going to have to get to that when it arrived; for now, he had to work on rehabilitating his beloved brother.


	18. Not Really Love? Than What Is?

In the few months that Rasiel and Bel had been reunited, the older twin had done his best to try and take care of his abused brother, but it was hard to do when the younger wouldn't even  _talk_ to him, no matter how clear it was that Bel loved him.

Rasiel had tried to take his brother to therapy, but to no avail; Bel was still as broken as ever. He had researched methods that trained professionals used for this kind of abuse and tried them himself, and again nothing had worked. He was beginning to think that Bel would be this way forever.

Hell, Bel wouldn't even sleep in his  _own_ room; the nightmares were too much for him and made him relive things he wanted to forget, and they could only be soothed by his brother's gentle presence. Rasiel didn't mind sharing his futon with Bel; it was comforting for them both.

The older twin was still awake as he laid on his back and stared up at the roof. He was feeling restless, but no matter how much he wanted to get up and go for a walk, he didn't want to move while Bel rested his head on his chest and curled his shaking fingers into the black pyjama top Rasiel wore.

It wasn't unusual for Bel to make small noises and murmur unintelligible things as he slept – the closest he would come to talking – but tonight, Rasiel could make out a few things; something about a frog.

He knew that Bel needed rest, so he made a mental note to ask about the frog tomorrow when Bel had woken up. The younger probably wouldn't talk to him, but it was worth a try anyway.

* * *

For breakfast, the two males knelt by the kotatsu in the living room as they kept their eyes focused on the TV. Rasiel was thankful that Bel was eating somewhat properly now – having been told that it was rare for the younger twin to eat a meal instead of just picking at it – even if he could only eat a small portion of his food; it was putting strength back into his body, and that was the important thing.

Early morning anime played on the TV screen, something that Rasiel had learnt his brother enjoyed. He cocked his head to the side and frowned; Bel may love watching it, but he wasn't liking it. "I get that Luffy is meant to be made of rubber, but it seems so ludicrous to me…"

Bel smiled at his brother before he looked back to the small TV. He let his attention shift to Rasiel when he heard the taller twin talking to him again, but he wasn't sure he had heard properly; did Rasiel know about his Froggy…?

The frail blond looked at the ground as he clutched the light blue fabric of his pyjama pants. He trembled as he remembered the emotions Fran had stirred in him, and when he recalled the emotional agony the younger had caused him, he was sure that, to this day, it still hurt more than the physical wounds left behind on him.

Rasiel frowned at the sudden shift in his brother's mood. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me, brother." Rasiel understood his twin was fragile, and he didn't want to break Bel any more than he already had been.

Bel disregarded what Rasiel had said. He opened his mouth and tried to use the voice he hadn't used in close to two years. His voice was hoarse and cracking as it continuously faded into nothing just seconds into his sentences.

"Froggy… L-loved him… Hurt me…" Bel shuddered at how weak and pathetic he sounded; he missed his soft, crystal clear voice that had once been one of the few things about himself he actually liked.

Rasiel understood now what Bel was referencing; while it had been mostly rumours as Xanxus and the others had fled the night of the police raid and remained undetected, and because Bel wouldn't – or  _couldn't_  – talk to anyone, what had happened before, during and after the abduction of the teal-haired boy no one could be certain. Some rumours said it was Xanxus who had done the abduction and shattered Fran into the lifeless doll he now was. Others said it had been Squalo, Lussuria or even Levi since there had been only one toy for them all.

And the more uncommon rumours that flew about said it was Bel who had done the abduction and raped Fran, which was the reason he had been found with a stab wound that had almost killed him the same night Fran had escaped and been spotted by a neighbour, naked and covered in gore. None of this had ever been proven – not when the only people who knew the truth had either seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth, or were now broken shells of humans who couldn't interact with people properly.

"Was it  _you_ who took Fran to the mansion?" Rasiel questioned in a gentle voice.

Bel nodded. Tears slipped down his cheeks and onto his lap. "…"

"Why?" The older twin honestly couldn't see his sweet brother doing such horrible things, but he understood; for eight years Bel had been nothing but a game to those four men, beaten and raped daily; it was expected Bel came out of this with issues.

"…Loved him…" Bel licked at his lips as his tears flowed heavier. "…Xanxus… told me… how to love… Wanted to love… Froggy… Froggy… betrayed me…"

Rasiel closed his eyes and fought against his own tears; what kind of sick person could leave a  _child_ to believe that love was the equivalent to  _torture?_ Had it all been a ploy to make Bel think  _they_ loved  _him_? To ensure that Bel never ran away from them…?"

"…" Rasiel shook his head. He knew Bel's damaged mind needed to be corrected  _now_  before it led to  _more_  trouble. The only issue was, he really didn't know  _how_ to do that. "Brother, I love you so much…"

Bel could still remember Xanxus' words ringing through his mind, telling him what love was and how to show it. Part of him felt it was wrong to do those things to Rasiel, but he wanted his brother to know that  _he_ loved his big brother, too.

Rasiel had closed his eyes again as he brought his hand up to drag through his growing hair. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice hands pulling the waistband of his pyjama pants down. He remained oblivious until a hand that wasn't his wrapped around him and sent a wave of shock down his spine.

The stronger blond was frozen in horror as his brother lowered his hot mouth around his flaccid shaft, and the only thing he could do to try and make the younger stop was to utter near-inaudibly.

"Bel… No…" Rasiel, who had no previous sexual experience with anyone but his own hand, really didn't know what to do; he wanted for this to stop, not wanting to do such things with his brother, but his body was reacting so positively to this, it was hard to do anything but whimper. "Bel… Stop… No, Bel… Bel,  _stop!_ "

Bel flinched as he was shouted at. He pulled away when something hard slapped him on the back. He looked to the ground and pulled his knees to his chest, not understanding why he had been stopped; whenever he would try and service Tsuna, the brunet would merely run away before anything could happen – it was the same with all his friends. None of them let him service them and then stop him halfway through, so why had Rasiel done this?

The older twin was panting as his heart raced in anxiety. He hadn't meant to hurt his brother, but he hadn't wanted that to happen; he had wanted his first sexual experience with another person to be with someone special to him – not his damaged  _twin_.

"When I say, I mean  _no!_ " Rasiel scolded as he tucked himself back into his pants as fast as he could. He himself was upset, and he couldn't help but shout. "You don't… You  _don't_ do that to other people! Not… Not your  _twin_ , Bel…"

"…I…" Bel reached up to pull at his hair in distress; he was so confused, it  _hurt_. "…I don't… understand…"

Rasiel took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He moved to sit by Bel and wrap his arms around the younger; just because he was upset didn't mean he could take it out on his sibling when Bel truly hadn't known any better.

"…That's not… an act of love…" Rasiel tried to explain, not knowing what terms to put it in; how was he supposed to make Bel understand the truth behind the lies he had been trained to believe for so long…? "It… It's only meant to be between two people… People who are dating… Not between two brothers, or someone you don't  _love_ …"

"…Xanxus said…" Bel ducked his head as he moved closer to the stronger male's warmth, "…he said… it showed love…"

"He  _lied_ to you, Bel… He lied to you so that you'd do things for him. What he said  _wasn't_ the truth, Bel… That kind of thing isn't a  _true_ act of love…"

"Then what is…?" Bel's bangs parted, and his brother got a good glimpse of the pain and confusion in those purple eyes.

"Hugs, and… And telling someone that you love them… Sharing your food… Spending time with each other… And, once you love someone more than you thought was possible… you have sex…"

"I had that all the time…" Bel frowned as he looked at his lap. "…I always had that… Xanxus… Xanxus told me  _fear_ was love…"

"Fearing someone could  _never_ mean you love them… That was nothing more than a cowardly tactic he used to coax you into what he wanted…"

"So… Froggy… I-I… I hurt… Froggy…?" The boy sniffled before he hid his face in against his twin's chest and let out every negative emotion he had suppressed for nine years in one go.

Rasiel just held his brother as he let it happen. He wondered about Fran, about how much the kid really  _did_ mean to Bel, and if his brother would have treated the teal-haired male the same way if the conditions were different.

One thing he  _did_ know was that he had to help his brother understand love, knowing it was the key to his healing process – but could it be so easy…? Rasiel really wasn't sure what to think.


	19. The Key to Our Hearts

At twenty-six-years-old, the twins were still living in Japan. It wasn't supposed to be that way, but after discovering Bel had a serious phobia of plane rides, most likely brought on by the abduction, Rasiel had decided they didn't need to return to Italy and that they were just fine there in Japan together.

His brother was still in the process of recovering, but he was talking to Rasiel a bit more, despite the long periods of silence that could last for weeks. He was still afraid of strangers, and though the suicidal behaviour had never stopped and Rasiel didn't think it ever  _would_ , he did seem slightly happier than when Rasiel had first met him again at Tsuna's home.

The older twin had gotten his brother a pet a few years previous, having seen the way Bel interacted so positively with the pets his friends owned. He had searched so long for the perfect pet before he discovered an abused mink at a shelter. Out of all the cats and dogs that were housed there, he had had a feeling Bel would like it most.

It had been like an instant bond between the two; the mink – Mink, as Bel eventually named it – wasn't fond of anyone but Bel. The smaller blond was always seen with the animal curled around his neck like a fancy scarf, but what Rasiel liked most about it was that now, with a pet to keep him company, Bel was okay when his brother had to go to work; it was no longer a tear-fest as the younger begged Rasiel to stay with him.

Currently, the twins were walking through town together, on their way home after taking Mink to the vet for a check-up. Bel held the carry cage close to him as he walked with his head down and Rasiel close by his side. It was when Bel stopped walking and seemed to freeze on the spot did his brother grow worried; this behaviour wasn't exactly unusual, but there was almost always a trigger for it.

"What's wrong, Bel?" Rasiel put his hand on his twin's shoulder.

The abused male whimpered as he pointed ahead at a blue, pineapple-haired male standing with a teal-haired teenager at one of the shop windows before heading inside. Rasiel frowned.

"What's the matter, Bel? Who are they?"

"…F-froggy…?" A few tears slid down Bel's cheeks. "…I-I…"

Rasiel understood immediately; after everything that had happened to Bel during the previous abuse, it must be unimaginably hard for him to see Fran again – especially after having learnt that the 'love' he had shown the younger had been no better than what Xanxus and the others had done to him.

"I think you should go talk to him," Rasiel said softly. He reached out to hold Bel close against him as the younger made a frightened noise. "Shh… It's okay, brother. Don't you think it'd be nice to say sorry to him for what happened? He must be just as scared as you are."

"He hates me…" Bel whispered without hesitation. "…He… He hates me…"

"You don't know that." Rasiel placed his hands on Bel's shoulders as he offered a calming smile. "What if I talk to them first? Would you like that?"

Bel stomped his foot like a distressed horse. "I… I'm scared…"

"I know." Rasiel leant down and pressed their foreheads together. "I know you are. But you know, this would be good for you both. I know that… your previous life still hurts you, so you need to face this and be strong. You can do it."

The younger was hesitant, but with a bit more coaxing from Rasiel, he eventually nodded. He followed close to his brother with their hands entwined as they walked into the shop Fran had disappeared into.

"I'm scared…" Bel whispered as the door swung shut behind them. He could see that they had entered a pet shop, and that Fran's back was to them as he pointed to one of the puppies in the enclosure. His hearth thumped painfully as the man he was with leant in to pick up one of the puppies and pass it to Fran.

"Don't be." Rasiel squeezed his brother's hand. "I'm here."

Bel wanted to turn and run away as he was led closer to the younger males, but with his hand trapped in Rasiel's, he couldn't escape. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and took shelter behind his twin.

"Hi." Rasiel watched the two males turn around. He wasn't surprised when Fran cowered, just like his brother was doing; it was expected. However, unsure of who the other man was, he was a tad surprised to have ducked a punch aimed at him; did he and Bel really look  _that_ identical? "I just want to talk."

"Why would you  _talk_  after what you did to Fran…?" the blue-haired man hissed. His heterochromatic eyes burned with anger and Rasiel was sure he could feel the gaze piercing through him.

"Oh, no, no." Rasiel waved his hands in the air. "I thought this might happen. My name's Rasiel, and I'm Bel's twin. Bel's standing behind me. Might I ask for your name?"

The taller male shook with anger as he looked down at Fran. He found the teen's hand was curled tightly into the man's black coat as he peeked out from behind the other.

"Master, I…" Fran was quiet. His emerald eyes were wary as he looked up at Rasiel. "…I told you… I forgave him… Please, don't… Don't fight…"

The older male didn't want to upset his charge so, with a sigh, he forced himself to speak civilly even though he wanted nothing more than to rip Bel apart here and now for the torture he had put Fran through.

"Mukuro..." the spiky-haired male finally introduced himself. "Mukuro Rokudo…"

"It's nice to meet you, Mukuro." Rasiel smiled. "This is Fran?"

Mukuro nodded. He wrapped his arm around the teen's shoulders and held him close. "May I enquire as to why you are here?"

Rasiel stepped away so that Bel could be seen. The smaller male whimpered and tried to follow his brother, but he was stopped when Rasiel held him by the shoulders and forced him to stay where he was. He sobbed, feeling so exposed it  _hurt_.

"We were on our way home when Belphegor spotted you," the taller blond explained. "As you can see, he's… as damaged as I'm sure Fran is…"

Mukuro frowned. After what had been done to his precious Fran, he could  _never_ forgive Bel, but after hearing about what the blond had been through…

"I know that this is the first time they've seen each other since… since  _that_ …" Rasiel tried to dance around the subject to spare everyone further distress, "…and I was thinking that it may do them both some good if Bel has the chance to apologise."

"Do you really think an apology is going to do  _anything_?" Mukuro narrowed his eyes. "An apology will not fix either of them."

"Of course not, but it'd be a start. Wouldn't you think so?"

Mukuro didn't reply; he looked down at Fran so he could raise his hand and thread his fingers through soft teal hair. Fran looked up at him with sad eyes, and it was then the man understood; this was a battle Fran had to fight by himself.

"Go ahead, little one." Mukuro stepped back.

Fran held his writhing puppy close as he stared at his feet, not sure of where to start; how was he supposed to talk to the one who had almost killed him…?

Rasiel followed Mukuro's approach as he stepped back as well. Bel looked anywhere but at Fran as the feeling of being so helpless paralysed him. His heart was beating painfully fast, his mouth was dry and he couldn't stop crying.

"…I get it… senpai…" Was the first thing said between the two of them. "…I get it… I get that it hurts… I just didn't understand why you dragged me into it… I do now, though… You were just lonely and hurting…"

Bel flinched when a tiny hand came to rest on his arm. He looked down and found that Fran had closed the distance between them. "…"

"You don't have to say sorry if you don't want to," Fran whispered. "I forgave you a long time ago…"

Bel nodded. He recoiled as a hand reached up to wipe his tears away. He was used to Rasiel or even Tsuna and his friends wiping away his tears, but never could he have expected it from the boy he had traumatised all that time ago.

"Don't cry, senpai." Fran offered his own smile, despite the tears that were now running down his cheeks, too. "It's okay. I'm not mad. I understand why you did it. It's okay."

Bel's shoulders heaved with emotion as he handed Mink's carry cage over to Rasiel. He wrapped his arms around himself as he cried harder than he had in a while.

Fran himself passed his puppy over to Mukuro so he could wrap his arms around Bel's middle. He buried his face against the blond male's stomach as he fought against his own tidal wave of tears.

"Doesn't that feel better, Bel?" Rasiel put the carry cage on the ground so he could move closer to his brother. "All those years of holding it in…"

Bel nodded. He looked down when he felt Fran pull away from him. He watched in silence as the teal-haired teen went back to Mukuro to get his puppy. He brought it over to Bel and offered a shy smile. "Isn't he cute…? M-master said… I could have a pet…"

"Bel has a pet," Rasiel said. He pointed to the carry cage. "A mink."

"Can I pat him?" Fran smiled back at Rasiel as his tears slowly stopped.

"He might bite you," the blond warned. "Just stick your finger through the gate and if he runs at you, he's going to bite."

Fran nodded. He did as instructed, and to everyone's relief, his finger stroked against soft fur safely. He stood back up and returned to Bel's side. He had had  _years_ to think on what the other had done to him, and here and now, he knew that Bel was no longer like that and there was no need to fear him anymore. "I don't know if I want a puppy or a kitten."

Bel frowned. It  _was_ a hard choice; he liked cats and dogs equally.

Rasiel nodded to Mukuro from where he stood, appreciative of the other's cooperation in allowing Bel and Fran contact. He knew it had to have been so hard for the blue-haired man, but it had worked out for the best. "Thank you."

Mukuro nodded in return as he watched Bel wander off to look at the kittens. He then turned back to Fran to see him still holding the puppy as he looked at the others still running around inside the enclosure. It was when Bel returned to his brother's side with a kitten in his hands did Mukuro bring his attention back to the twins.

"He's cute." Rasiel scratched the kitten behind the ear.

"…Can… I have him…?" Bel gave a shy smile as he held the kitten against his chest so it could listen to his heartbeat.

"I don't know, Bel…" Rasiel looked down at the carry cage. He hated disheartening his twin, but he was worried that with Mink around… "You have Mink, and I'm not sure a kitten…"

The disappointment that crossed Bel's features tugged at Rasiel's heart. He sighed as he took the kitten from his brother so he could look at it closely. It was a grey striped fluffball, and it purred loudly as it tried to rub itself against his face. He nodded reluctantly before he handed the kitten back to Bel. "You can have him as long as you keep Mink away from him. Okay? They might fight otherwise."

Bel smiled happy as he nodded. He looked back at Fran as he heard the teen speak.

"Then I want this puppy." He smiled up at his guardian as he raised the dog into the air.

"What kind of dog is he?" Rasiel patted the fluffy black pup; what was it with these two both wanting fluffy things? More fluff equalled more mess and he wasn't looking forward to having to clean up the shedding that cat was going to do – he was glad the dog wasn't coming with them because that would just be a nightmare.

"A malamute." Fran looked so happy, Rasiel couldn't help but smile.

"You could take him for walks down to the park." The older twin gestured to Bel. "Maybe Bel could meet you there so he can have some timeout, too. He likes animals."

Fran's emerald eyes shone brighter as he looked back at Mukuro in silent request for permission.

Mukuro sighed, and as much as he wanted to deny them all that chance, he knew better; Fran might need this more than he realised… "Only if I come with you…"

"Thank you, Master." Fran passed the puppy over to Mukuro so he could wander around the store in search of pet supplies.

Rasiel could see that Bel was well was looking a little happier, with a smile on his face as he played with his new kitten. He knew that, because Bel was still recovering and the damage that Xanxus had done to his mind hadn't completely healed, he would have to supervise his brother whenever he and Fran were together – Bel could barely tell right from wrong, after all – but he had a feeling that, in having faced Fran and Mukuro, his brother had made more progress in less than an hour than he had all  _year_.

Something told him that, though it may still take a while, both Bel and Fran were going to be alright.


	20. Brick by Brick

Bel was nervous as he awaited Rasiel's return. It had been early that morning when Rasiel had told him he was bringing his girlfriend over once he finished work, but the younger didn't like that idea; every other girlfriend Rasiel had been with had been cruel to him. He wasn't looking forward to having to meet another one, even though he had been promised this one was  _nothing_ like the others; he just wanted it to be him and Rasiel and no one else.

He rested on the couch in anxious anticipation as he watched the new anime collection Rasiel had bought for him. His kitten, Arashi, rested on his lap as it slept. He knew his brother would be walking into their home any minute now, so when he heard the car pull up and two car doors close instead of one, his heart started to race again; he wasn't looking forward to this…

There was the soft jingling of keys before the front door unlocked and opened. Rasiel stepped inside with a small, indigo-haired woman behind him. She wore a black jacket with a matching skirt, and a hood just as dark hid her eyes from view.

"Bel, this is Mammon." Rasiel's voice was gentle as he introduced the two. "She has something for you."

Bel raised his head slowly. He flinched when a hand came towards him, but it didn't take long for him to see the lollipop the woman was holding out for him.

"Siel told me you like sweet things." The woman was quiet, but there was an air of confidence around her, unlike the other girls Rasiel had introduced him to. "I grabbed some for you from work when I left."

Bel was hesitant as he reached out to tentatively wrap his fingers around the sugary treat. He held the lollipop by his kitten, unsure of what to do now; he wasn't used to strangers giving him gifts, after all…

"What do you say, Bel?" Rasiel was kind as he prompted Bel to use the manners the younger was still trying to work on.

Bel shook his head as he curled further into himself. Rasiel didn't force him; he knew that Bel would come out of his shell when he was ready.

"That's a cute kitten." The female – Mammon, Bel had to remember – kept her hands to herself as she complimented the man's pet. "What's his name?"

Bel didn't reply; he just stood up from the couch and moved to a different room and took his kitten with him. He knew that, so far, this girl had been nicer than the others, but could he trust her to stay that way…?

He didn't think so.

* * *

For dinner that night, Mammon stayed. The three were gathered in the living room, seated around the kotatsu with Bel sitting in silence as his brother and the woman conversed. He tensed uncomfortably when, without warning, Mammon's attention focused on him again.

"Siel has told me a lot about you." Mammon was vague; she knew better than to tell the damaged male she knew  _exactly_ what he had been through in his life. "You're just like as he described."

Bel frowned. He didn't know how to take those words. He looked up again when his brother spoke.

"Mammon has been looking forward to meeting you for some time now." The older male patted his brother's shoulder. "She's taken quite a liking to you."

Bel knew that those words implied Mammon wasn't going to hurt him, and that she'd treat him in a manner like the ones Tsuna and his friends used with him, but it was so hard to trust people with everything that had been done to him.

The younger male shifted in distress. He knew it would upset Rasiel if he didn't treat his girlfriend with the respect he was slowly being taught, but he still didn't know what was expected of him; how was he supposed to react?

He stood up and left the living room; if Rasiel wanted him to be nice to Mammon, there was only one way he felt he could do so comfortably and  _easily_.

"Where is he going?" Mammon put her chopsticks down by her bowl as he stared after the younger twin.

"I'm… not sure, actually." Rasiel wanted to get up and check on his brother, but he knew that Bel still needed to learn how to be by himself and it was best to stop breathing down the other's neck with every little thing he did. "He should come back; sushi is his favourite and he hasn't eaten much of it yet."

"He really is messed up." Mammon didn't apologise for making her boyfriend wince; it was a fact, and they  _both_ knew it.

"He's… trying…" The long-haired man turned around as he heard his brother coming back down the hallway with a box in his arms. "What's he got now…?"

Bel sat down again by the kotatsu as he showed everyone the Monopoly box he had brought out. He smiled; though he always played with Rasiel, he was sure playing with Mammon too might slowly help him adjust to the woman if he could get used to her in his own way.

"You want to play?" Rasiel turned back to Mammon when his brother nodded. "Want to play with him after dinner, Mammon?"

"I have to warn you; Monopoly is my best game."

Bel smiled as he pushed the game past the tablecloth so he could leave it out of the way as they finished eating.

* * *

Bel was glad he had asked to play Monopoly; Mammon had been so nice and patient with him, he had quickly forgotten his previous distress about her. They had played several rounds, and with Mammon being declared the winner each time, Rasiel soon decided it was bedtime for Bel.

"Are you tired, brother?" Rasiel knew the answer; his brother was falling asleep where he sat. He reached out to take Arashi from Bel's lap and passed the kitten to Mammon so he could stand up and bring Bel with him.

Bel yawned as he walked with Rasiel down the hallway. He quickly became confused when, after trying to turn into Rasiel's bedroom they had just passed, his brother stopped him; weren't they going to bed now…? He was sure that's what his twin had said…

"S-siel…" Bel pointed to his brother's room.

Rasuel shook his head. He felt guilty for not having weaned his brother's dependence off him sooner; he had known it would become a problem, but he just didn't have the heart to let his twin be in pain. "Mammon is going to stay the night, and since we… need  _privacy_ , you'll have to sleep in your room tonight."

Bel didn't like that idea; when he was alone, his memories were worse than usual and it was only the older male's presence that could make him feel safe enough to sleep. "…But…"

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep. How about that?" Rasiel knew he had won when the other started walking again.

When they had stepped into Bel's bedroom, Rasiel moved about preparing the futon while Bel got dressed behind him. Bel hesitated in laying down on the futon he had only used twice in all their years of owning it, but with Rasiel sitting beside him, holding his hand and caressing his head, he was quickly soothed into rest with his arm draped around Mink as the animal curled up with him.

"Is he asleep?" Mammon stood in the doorway. Her expression was passive, but Rasiel knew her well enough to know that beneath her stoic exterior, she was someone who cared about Bel and the pain he was still experiencing. She had told him before that she would help as best she could as her lover had an emotional breakdown from the stress associated with caring for someone so damaged; she knew Rasiel couldn't do it alone, and if the man kept trying, he would lose his mind.

Rasiel nodded. He leant down and brushed hair away from Bel's temple so he could place a kiss there. He then stood up and moved to Mammon to embrace her tightly.

"I love you, Mammon," he whispered as he led his girlfriend into his bedroom, wanting to make passionate love to her now that Bel was asleep.

Mammon pressed her lips against the male's, wanting it as much as he did.

* * *

Some time throughout the night, Rasiel awoke to someone nestling up to his back. He frowned. His arms were still wrapped around Mammon, so he slowly untangled himself to roll over and caress his twin's head.

"Go back to sleep, Bel…" Rasiel's voice was heavy with sleep. "It's late…"

Bel hummed. He was already content with how close he was to his beloved brother. He was out like a light, leaving Rasiel to briefly recall the fact that he and Mammon were still naked after their activities, and Bel would have questions and possibly a fit in the morning; sex was a  _very_ touchy subject with Bel.


	21. Words of a Frog

When Bel's eyes opened the next morning, it was to his brother and the girl talking softly. He could feel the futon moving around beneath their shifting weight, and he could only sigh and move closer to Rasiel's side so he could lift his head and rest it on the older man's chest.

"Awake, Bel?" Rasiel caressed messy blond hair before he sat up; it was uncomfortable to feel the younger's bare skin on his naked chest.

Bel's eyes blinked slowly as he took in the scene before him; Mammon had left the futon and was slipping clothing back onto her otherwise-naked body. Rasiel was in much the same condition, with his waist hidden behind the heavy blanket they had slept under.

Tears welled up in Bel's eyes as he realised what had happened the previous night; he still remembered the abuse as clear as day, and his brother had  _never_ slept without a shirt before – there was only one thing that could possibly mean; Rasiel was doing the very thing he feared most.

The younger twin looked away as his long fingers curled into the light-blue material of his warm pyjamas. His mouth opened and closed wordlessly as fear crept up on him as the thought of his brother doing  _that_ to him just wouldn't leave.

"Brother?" Rasiel could see how distressed his twin was becoming. He knew what had caused it; he hadn't expected Bel to have come back in through the night, having believed it was safe to do what they had only done at Mammon's house – he had relied too much on Bel sleeping through the night when in hindsight, he  _really_ should have known better; his twin usually woke up several times throughout the night, especially when Rasiel wasn't with him. "Brother, go sit in the living room, okay?"

Bel did as he was told. Rasiel sighed when the bedroom door closed a few seconds later. He looked up when he felt Mammon putting a hand on his shoulder.

"He's so messed up, he doesn't understand that sex isn't a bad thing…" Rasiel reached up so he could take Mammon's hand in his own. "I've tried to talk to him about it, but he's adamant in believing that it's only to hurt others."

"Has he had it himself since he's been with you?" Mammon sat by her lover as she zipped her jacket back up.

"No." The male shook his head as he tried to convey his thoughts. "He hasn't even masturbated in all these years. I don't think he's felt a shred of desire since he was taken away."

"Then he needs to have it and see how good it can feel." Mammon's small fingers ran through her indigo locks.

"It needs to be with someone special so he can understand, but I have no idea who that would be…" Rasiel sighed. "There's so few people that he trusts…"

Mammon wished she could do more, but she wasn't apt at these kinds of situations. She knew Rasiel was much the same way, and that it was very hard for him to look after Bel when he himself wasn't sure on what to do most of the time.

The woman knew her boyfriend was doing the best he could, but caring for someone like Bel was draining at the best of times; she knew that this would be easier said than done, and would do what he could to help; Rasiel couldn't do this alone, after all.

"I think it might start raining, guys." Two sets of eyes turned to Yamamoto as the dark-haired male looked up at the grey sky. "Maybe even storm. Do you want me to talk you both home?"

Fran and Bel were sitting on the grass in the park as Fran and Yamamoto's dogs played together. While there were plenty of other people around, the three of them had found their own spot away from the others so that Bel could feel comfortable. Mukuro and Rasiel were both working, so Yamamoto had volunteered to take them both out for the day.

Fran looked at Bel. "What do you want to do, senpai?"

Bel shrugged. In truth, he wanted to stay here with Fran and Yamamoto instead of going back to his empty house, but he was too fearful to voice his wishes; no matter how long ago he had been taken away from Xanxus, the abuse still stuck.

"What about you come back to my place and we'll have sushi for lunch?" Yamamoto smiled brightly as he checked his watch and found it was just a bit past noon.

The blond nodded. He stood up when Fran did and brushed his pants off to rid himself of the grass and dirt. He watched as the younger two both tried getting their dogs, and while Jiro was so well trained and came to his master straight away, Fran's puppy was a brat and decided playing chasey was a better idea.

It didn't take long for them to catch the over-excited pup, and once his leash was clipped onto his collar, it walked properly by Fran's side as they all went back to Yamamoto's car. The two dogs were clipped into harnesses on the back seat and Fran sat in between them while Bel took the front passenger seat. Yamamoto hummed happily as he started the car and made the drive back to his restaurant; he loved spending time with Bel and Fran.

Two minutes into their drive, it started raining. Bel didn't like the rain; it reminded him of how his blood dribbled down his wrists after suicide attempts, or whenever he cried because of Xanxus and the others.

Yamamoto knew this, and he was quick to jump on it and try to distract Bel from his train of thoughts. "What do you guys want to do after lunch?"

While Fran made his desires clear, Bel started struggling. He tried to find the strength to question the others on something that had been bothering him since that morning. He twitched and fumbled with his hands as his mouth opened and closed wordlessly until he finally found the strength to use his voice again.

"Froggy…?" Bel was quiet, only just audible. Yamamoto lowered the radio; if Bel were asked to repeat himself, he would only withdraw and fall into silence again.

"What's up, Bel-senpai?" Fran's eyes were slightly lidded as he leant against his dog in tiredness. He could really use a nap on the drive back to Yamamoto's, but if Bel needed to talk to him, he would listen.

"…" Bel fidgeted uncomfortably before he spoke, needing to hear Fran's opinion on this more than anyone else's; if anyone would understand, it would be Fran. "…Is… Do you think… that… That sex isn't…  _bad_ …?"

Fran blinked. He sat up, much more alert now that he knew how serious the situation was. "What do you mean, senpai?"

"…Siel… He tells me that… that  _it_ isn't bad… He did it to his girlfriend last night…"

Yamamoto stayed silent as he listened to their conversations; Bel may never function normally in sexual relationships, and he knew that; it was expected for him to be asking these questions, but it still broke his heart to know a twenty-six-year-old had to be the one trying to get answers for something he should never have been forced to doubt.

"Sex isn't bad, senpai." Fran offered a smile as he ran his fingers through his dog's black fur. "I have sex with Master. It's not bad."

Bel frowned. He cocked his head. "…Do… Do you…  _like_ it…?"

"Of course, senpai. Of course I like it, or else I wouldn't do it."

"Does he  _force_ you…?" Bel was confused. He was desperate for answers; why would his brother insist on sex not being bad…? Bel  _knew_ it was bad; he had  _experienced_ it for  _eight years_!

…So why did Fran agree with Rasiel…?

"No, senpai. We only ever have it if I ask for it."

Bel frowned. He wished he could understand why  _Fran_ of all people didn't understand the truth about sex; Fran had been through what Bel had, so why did the younger…?

"The only time sex is bad is if someone is forced into it," Fran explained. "That makes it rape. But if both partners want it, it's okay."

Bel struggled to understand how both partners could possibly want it; he knew that it was nothing but a display of dominance meant to cause fear and pain for the submissive partner– but if Fran said otherwise…

"Fran's right." Yamamoto braked gently as to not startle Bel in his distress. "Sex is something that two partners do when they're  _both_ ready. It isn't something you ever force someone into, Bel. You know that Tsuna and I are lovers, don't you? Well, we have sex all the time, but both of us have always enjoyed it together."

The pain that still grew in his heart ached as Bel remembered what had been done to him and what he had consequently done to Fran. It was hard for him to understand sex after everything he had been put through, but surely if Fran – someone who knew the same pain he did – could still see it in a positive light  _and_ have it, then surely… maybe Rasiel knew what he was talking about…?

He turned back to stare out of his window and watch the rain drops slide down the glass and onto the earth beneath them. He couldn't stop his mind from running rampart; did he trust Xanxus or Rasiel today…?


	22. Chapter 22

"Siel…?"

Rasiel turned around from the kitchen sink to look at his brother. The younger was approaching him slowly, but Rasiel looked past it; he knew there was always going to be times in Bel's life where the smaller male was fearful of even  _him_. He put the plate he had just washed into the dishrack. "What is it, Belphegor?"

Bel fumbled with his hands as he moved closer. There was a limp to his gait that Rasiel had learnt long ago meant the other was feeling vulnerable and mimicking the effects of his previous abuse – he didn't entirely understand why this happened when Bel was perfectly healthy, but he never questioned it; he loved his baby brother exactly as he was.

"You're limping again," he pointed out in a gentle manner. He put down the washcloth and rinsed his hands off under the tap before he reached out to touch his twin's shoulder. He played along with the younger's unconscious habit as not to upset him and asked, "Did you hurt yourself?"

Bel frowned. He looked down as he shifted his weight to test for any injury he hadn't noticed prior. He shook his head. He licked his lips when he made eye contact with the other again. "…"

"Do you need something?" Rasiel was as patient as ever. He knew Bel would eventually open up; it might just take a few minutes for him to gather the courage to do so.

Bel finally nodded as he reached into his pocket to take his phone out. He passed it over to the stronger male, knowing Rasiel would understand; Rasiel  _always_ knew what he wanted.

Rasiel took the phone. He looked at the text message awaiting him on the screen before he smiled and found it was from Tsuna inviting his beautiful brother out onto a business trip with he and Yamamoto as Gokudera was too ill to make it. He looked back at Bel. "Do you want to go with them?"

Bel nodded. His lips twitched into a brief smile before he mumbled, "…Tsuna said… meet them at Takesushi…"

The older twin nodded. He gave the phone back as he started walking to Bel's room to get the younger ready. Bel followed behind eagerly. "Mammon will take you there, Bel; she's going home soon and it's on the way."

Bel tensed. He sucked in a sharp breath as he realised what this meant; Rasiel was going to put him in a car with Mammon. …By himself. Sure, he had been getting to know her for a few weeks now, but that didn't mean he was entirely comfortable with her just yet; he had only just started mumbling to her every now and then – was he ready to be alone with her so soon…? "…"

"You'll be alright," Rasiel promised. He knew what was on his brother's mind. "She loves you. She hasn't hurt you before, has she?"

Bel shook his head. He started to relax; Rasiel was right; Mammon was very nice to him and always brought him sugary treats whenever she visited. "…"

"She isn't going to hurt you; I promise." Rasiel reached out to take Bel's hand and hold it tight as they entered the younger's bedroom. "Let's get your bag ready. Have you told them you're coming?"

Bel shook his head. He whispered, "Asked Siel first…"

"Alright. Let them know you're going with them so they know to expect you and I'll get your bag ready."

The younger nodded. He sent a short message to Tsuna saying he'd be there soon. Once he received a smiley face in return, he sat down on his futon Rasiel had been making him use more and more as Mammon stayed over and watched his brother sort through his clothing. He pulled Mink onto his lap and stroked the soft fur happily; he was looking forward to being with his friends.

"How long will you be gone for?" Rasiel made sure to pick only clothing that, while still hiding Bel's body from view, wouldn't be too thick for the warm weather they were experiencing; he only wore summer clothing in the comfort of his home as his skin was far too scarred to show in public.

"Few days..." He smiled as Mink jumped up onto his shoulder and curled around his neck. He relaxed further; his pets always brought him a level of peace even Rasiel couldn't manage. "Siel…?"

"Yes, Bel?"

"I wanna bring Mink…"

Rasiel turned back to look at the younger. He shook his head. "Sorry, Bel, but it's best to leave Mink at home; you wouldn't want anything happening to him, would you?"

"No…" He sighed, but he supposed he could manage with just Tsuna and Yamamoto by his side; they both loved him plenty after all.

The room fell silent once again until Rasiel had packed Bel's bag. "Come on, Bel. Let's get Mammon to take you over."

Bel jumped to his feet again so he could follow the other to the living room. Once they had stopped before Mammon, he hid partially behind his brother; though he liked her more and more every time she came over, he was still very shy.

"Can you please take Bel to Takesushi on your way home?" Rasiel rested his hand against Bel's forearm. "He's going out of town with his friends."

Mammon nodded. Her gaze never broke away from the sheets of paper on her lap. She reached into her pocket and resurfaced with a handful of candy she passed over to the smaller twin as she said, "I'm leaving in five minutes."

"Thank you, Mammon." Rasiel leant down and kissed his brother on the cheek. "Have lots of fun, alright? Call me if you want to come home early."

The smaller blond nodded. Though he wanted his brother to drive him over, he knew that his twin needed some alone time for himself and he didn't want to be a bother; Rasiel was as exhausted as  _he_ was these days.

As they waited for Mammon to finish up with the paperwork she was going over for her accounting job, Rasiel returned to the kitchen to finish washing the dishes as Bel sat on the couch next to her and ate his candy. He watched what she was doing, and Mammon didn't mind; Bel was so sweet, and at least he was slowly coming out of his shell with her.

Finally, when Mammon slipped all her paperwork back into the manila folder next to her, she stood up and looked at Bel. "Let's go."

Bel nodded. He grabbed his bag from beside him so he could stand and follow the woman outside and to her black Toyota Supra. Though he hesitated in getting in, he could do so; he was starting to trust Mammon, and he could  _do_ this.

Mammon as well got into the car. As she turned the engine on, she asked, "Where are you going, Bel?"

Bel hugged his bag tight as he looked to his lap. In a small mumble, he said, "…Business trip…"

"Don't mumble, Bel; it's hard to understand you. What did you say?"

He sucked in a panicked breath as he shook his head and turned to look out of the window; he thought Mammon already knew he didn't like to repeat himself. "…"

The woman didn't take the other's behaviour to heart; she knew she shouldn't have tried to do Rasiel's job and correct Bel's difficult behaviour; she should have instead gone along with his near-incomprehensible mumbling and let him speak clearer to her when he was ready to.

Mammon changed the subject. "If you're too hot, you can take your sweater off while we're in the car and put it back on when we stop; no one will see you."

Bel shook his head as he fidgeted uncomfortably. Mammon picked up on his uneasiness and fell silent. She didn't mind that he wanted to be alone; she knew he would one day come around to her, and that he had every right to be the way he was after everything that had been done to him.

* * *

"Bel."

Bel jumped to attention at his name. His eyes opened hastily as he put his hand out in front of him in a fearful manner; he had been falling asleep to the soothing car ride, and had just been on the brink of sleep when Mammon called his name. He turned to look at her with an exhausted expression. "…"

"We're here." Mammon turned the car off so she could get out and move to Bel's side to open the door for him. She reached out and took his bag before she brushed her fingertips against the back of his hand to try and soothe him. "Come on."

Bel watched her for a few seconds more before he, too, got out of the car. He looked around at his surroundings warily as he chewed his lip; he felt so vulnerable out here in the open and he needed to get inside. He was the first the enter the restaurant, and as soon as he had stepped inside, he found his friends waiting patiently for him at one of the tables at the back. He hurried over and sat next to Yamamoto.

"Hey, Bel." Yamamoto smiled brightly as he wrapped his arms around fragile shoulders and pulled the older male into a tight hug. "Want to eat something before we leave?"

Bel nodded. He leaned into Tsuna's touch as the brunet leant across the table to ruffle his hair. "I want sushi…"

Yamamoto chuckled. Before he stood up to grand the other's wishes, he kissed his friend's forehead. "I'll go get some for you. Not too much, though; we'll be stopping along the way for coffee."

"Where's Siel?" Tsuna looked around for the older twin; he knew how rare it was to find one without the other, so this was  _very_ unusual.

Mammon, who had slowly made her way over to the group, answered. "I was on my way home so I brought Bel over." She reached out and put her hand on the blond's shoulder that was constantly taut with stress.

"That was nice of her, wasn't it, Bel?" Tsuna's smile grew when his friend nuzzled his cheek against the palm of the brunet's hand; he was so glad that, after everything Bel had come out of, the blond was doing so well. "Are you going to say thank you?"

Bel frowned at the question. He stood up so he could move to Tsuna's side and hide his face against the other's chest. He mumbled something unintelligible as his fingers curled into the black jacket his friend was wearing.

Mammon took no offence to this. She threaded her fingers through golden locks that were, for the first time, soft and clean, as she said, "I'll see you when you're home, Bel. Have fun."

Bel turned to send a shy look at the woman. He licked his lips before he whispered, "Bye, Mammy…"

Tsuna chuckled. Bel was so cute; such a drastic change from how he had been just ten years ago. "We'll leave once you've eaten."

With a nod, Bel made himself comfortable as he waited patiently for his food to be brought out to him.

* * *

With a yawn, Bel followed Tsuna and Yamamoto into a hotel that same night. He was exhausted from the all-day drive, and though it wasn't very late, by now he would usually be curled up somewhere in his home with Rasiel so he could calm down and slowly get ready for sleep.

While Tsuna walked ahead of the other two to get them all a room, Yamamoto fell back so he could put his hand on Bel's arm. "You look so tired, Bel. Are you doing okay?"

Bel nodded. He dropped his head against his friend's shoulder. "Wanna sleep…"

"Not long now, Bel." Yamamoto's smile was as gentle as ever as he kissed the older male's temple and hugged the frail body close to him.

Not far ahead of them, Tsuna was at the check-in desk. "One room with two beds, please."

"Excuse me?" The young woman behind the counter gave Tsuna an incredulous look, and it made Bel nervous; he didn't like confrontations. "I must not have heard you clearly; I apologise. You wanted three separate rooms, right?"

"No." Tsuna was patient. He was used to dealing with these kinds of situations; he always seemed to get them everywhere he and Yamamoto went. "One room with two beds."

"But there are  _three_ of you."

Tsuna gestured behind him at Yamamoto. "That is my boyfriend and we will be sharing one bed together. Our friend will have the other bed. So please, one room with two beds."

Bel frowned and looked to the ground as a filthy look was sent his way. He moved to hide behind Yamamoto, and when the man's hand clutched his in a strong grip, he relaxed; he knew Yamamoto would look after him, so there was no need to feel so scared.

"We won't serve your kind here." The woman scrunched her nose up in disgust. "You, your boyfriend and your pervert of a friend had better leave."

"That's too bad." The brunet reached into his pocket so he could resurface with a large amount of cash. "Our friend is very tired. I would have tipped you kindly for allowing him to get some rest. But it's okay; we can take our business elsewhere and this these hundreds to someone a little more sympathetic to our friend's situation. Takeshi, Bel; we're leaving."

Tsuna turned around to leave, but once he heard the sound of keys dropping onto the desk, he grinned. He spun back to look at the woman and reached out to take the keys, but he didn't hand over the money; instead, he put it back into his pocket. "Next time you should just do your job and check everyone in without a fuss. I would have tipped you  _very_ kindly otherwise. We will leave a complaint with your manager as we leave tomorrow."

Bel couldn't help but laugh at the scandalised expression on the woman's face now; he knew she was immediately regretting her treatment of the three, and it served her right; she got what she deserved for upsetting him. He snuggled closer to Yamamoto as he was led towards the staircase; finally, he could rest.

"Are you going to go to sleep now, or would you like to stay up a little more with us?" Tsuna reached out and grabbed his friend's hand to squeeze it. "We're just going to be going over some paperwork for tomorrow."

Bel yawned. He slid his hand beneath his long bangs to rub his eyes. "Sleep…"

Yamamoto chuckled. He was glad that Bel allowed them so close to him; they were the only two apart from Rasiel whom he trusted like this, and it was such a shame he struggled to allow others so close; he truly was a sweet-natured young man who craved nothing but the love and affection he had been denied for so many years. "Almost there."

Bel was silent until they entered their room for the night. He liked it; it was cosy, just like his home with Rasiel. He mumbled as he tugged his hand from Yamamoto's so he could move to the bed pressed against the window across from them. He bounced on the mattress, and he laughed a little as it squeaked beneath his weight.

Tsuna and Yamamoto smiled at their friend's childish behaviour. The tallest of the trio dropped their bags by the front door so he could kneel and open Bel's backpack to retrieve a pair of pyjamas.

"You'd better get changed before you go to sleep, Bel." Yamamoto carried the clothing over to the blond. He was patient as the other hesitated to take them; Bel was just afraid of taking his clothes off with them around. He pointed to one of the doors off to the side. "That must be the bathroom in there. Don't worry about having a shower; you can have one in the morning. Just sleep."

Bel hummed in agreement. He took his pyjamas and moved to the bathroom to get changed. He wasn't in there for long before he came back out and dropped his day clothes by his bag before he made his way to the younger two.

"Goodnight, Bel." Tsuna wrapped his arms around the blond as he felt the other's warm cheek nuzzle against his.

"Goodnight…" Bel pressed his lips to the brunet's cheek before he pulled away and turned to Yamamoto next. "Goodnight, Takeshi…"

Yamamoto was as sweet as ever as he kissed the smaller male's cheek in return. It was an affectionate gesture they had started giving each other not long after Bel had turned nineteen, and they were both only too happy to keep doing so. "Goodnight, Bel. We'll see you in the morning. Have a good sleep."

Bel nodded. His cheeks reddened as he gave a shy smile. He shuffled back to his bed and pulled the blankets down so that he could climb in beneath them. He rolled onto his side, with his back to the other two, but as tired as he was, he couldn't fall asleep.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed before the lights were turned off and his friends went to sleep, but after being without the comforting warmth of another body for so long, he couldn't help but get out of bed and tiptoe over to the other one.

He did his best to not jostle the others as he pulled himself up and climbed over Tsuna so he could lay between his two friends. Neither of them woke, but he almost purred in contentment when two sets of arms wrapped securely around him and gave him the comfort he had sought.

With a gentle smile on his face, Bel's eyes slipped closed and he finally fell into oblivion; he was soothed into peaceful sleep by the others' presences.

Needless to say, neither of the younger two minded Bel crawling into bed with them at all.


	23. Chapter 23

When Bel woke the next morning, it was still dark. He yawned before he lifted his head from Yamamoto's chest so he could glance at the alarm clock across from him. It flashed five-thirty in vibrant orange, prompting the young man to sit up and rub at his eyes; it was normal for him to wake up around this time as it was difficult for him to sleep much longer.

He climbed over Tsuna so he could get off the bed and tiptoe over to the small fridge tucked away in the tiny kitchen area. He was glad there were some milk packets inside it; now all he needed was to find a bowl and some cereal.

Glad that his luck didn't seem to be running out any time soon as he quickly found himself sitting on the end of his friends' bed with a bowl of cereal in his hands, he grabbed the TV remote and turned it on as he tucked his feet beneath himself and got comfortable.

Tsuna and Yamamoto woke up just after six-thirty, and the first thing they found was that their friend was still focused on the TV as he ate his third bowl of cereal. Bel turned around as he heard them shifting behind him, and with his usual smile on his face, he cocked his head to the side in greeting.

"Morning, Bel." Tsuna threaded his fingers through his brunet locks as he got out of bed to approach his friend and ruffle golden locks affectionately. "Sleep well?"

Bel nodded. He leaned into the touch happily, and once Yamamoto kissed his cheek, he felt his face heat up as he clutched his bowl tighter in shyness; he didn't understand why there were the times he felt as if he had butterflies in his stomach whenever they shared these interactions; he just knew that he would be happy if they could stay like this forever.

He watched his friends move around the room as they got ready for their day. He turned his attention back to the morning news when they entered the bathroom together; it was nothing unusual; they always had their shower together whenever he was with them.

It wasn't until his attention was slowly grabbed by the soft sounds that came from inside the bathroom did he suddenly question it further; he knew those sounds only too well… He stood up slowly, and with his bowl clutched tight to his chest, he moved warily to the bathroom door.

Bel took a shaky step forward so he could reach out and touch the door handle. His breath almost caught in his throat; did he really want to open that door…? But what if someone was in there with them, and they needed his help…?

He sniffed back tears as memories flashed before his eyes. He didn't want to do this, but he knew he needed to be brave. He flinched as he pushed the door open, tense as he expected the worst – but instead, he was caught off-guard by the fact that there was no one else in here except for Tsuna and Yamamoto, and the two were both standing under the flowing showerhead with the brunet's back against the wall as Yamamoto's hips moved in a manner almost exactly like Squalo's slow, gentle thrusts Bel still saw every night in his dreams.

It was the blond's bowl falling onto the ground that alerted the younger two to his presence. Yamamoto was quick to pull out and keep his back to Bel as he used his strong body to hide his lover from view.

"Bel?" Yamamoto didn't know what to do; Bel was so fragile… "Bel, it's okay; I promise."

Bel trembled. He lifted his head slightly to peer at his friend from beneath his long bangs. He sniffed as he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "…T… Take…shi…"

"We talked about this, remember?" Yamamoto was as gentle as ever. He understood why his friend was so distraught; he could only imagine how he himself would react if he had been through what the blond had. "Sex is okay. Tsuna is my boyfriend and we both wanted this. We were enjoying what we were doing, and there was only love and gentleness between us."

"…" Bel fumbled with his hands. He couldn't stop his sobs from escaping him, and he looked anywhere but at the others as he felt his memories trying to drown him.

"Bel." Tsuna stepped out from behind Yamamoto now. He gestured for the blond to come closer. "Come here. Okay?"

Bel hesitated to do as he was told, but he somehow found himself closing the distance between the younger two. He flinched when a warm hand reached out towards him; his heart was racing again and he felt as if he could throw up from the overwhelming anxiety.

"Shh…" Tsuna cupped his friend's face with his hands. His soft eyes searched for obscured ones, and even though their gaze never met, he eventually felt Bel nuzzle against his palm. He smiled and leant forward so he could press his lips against the other's forehead. He wasn't surprised when the smaller male quivered beneath the contact. He pulled back and whispered, "You're safe with us, Bel. I promise."

Bel nodded. He tried to relax; he knew Tsuna was right, but still… He hadn't been expecting for  _this…!_ "…Tsuna…"

Yamamoto reached out. He turned Bel's head so that they were looking at each other. He watched as the smallest male poked his tongue out to lick at his lips in uncertainty. Yamamoto's smile widened. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on the tip of his friend's nose. When he pulled away, his smile became brighter at the shy blush that now coated Bel's cheeks. He stooped even further so he could kiss both of Bel's cheeks and then raise his thumb to soft pale lips and rub small circles into them.

"May I kiss you?" Yamamoto waited patiently for Bel to reply. He understood when the older male did nothing but stare for several minutes, but then, finally, he received a tiny nod in response.

Yamamoto was in no hurry as he pulled Bel closer to him. He was relaxed as he pressed their lips together as gently as he could, knowing that Bel deserved nothing but pure, untainted love. He felt thin fingers curling around his upper arms as his nailed dug into his skin with Bel's growing anxiety, but none of that mattered; what mattered was that the blond was letting him so close after everything he had been through.

"Will you let me kiss you deeper?" Yamamoto's words were muffled by Bel's lips. He soon got his wish; the other's mouth parted just for him, and his hot tongue slipped into the smaller cavern.

The dark-haired male rested his palm against Bel's cheek as his other arm wrapped around the small of his friend's back to pull him closer. Their chests rested together, and though the blond made no move to escape this proximity, it seemed that he was having trouble reciprocating; as hard as Yamamoto tried to get him to kiss back, his tongue only ever retreated as frightened whimpers escaped into Yamamoto's mouth.

Tsuna stood in silence as he watched the two. He wasn't bothered in the least as he watched his boyfriend kiss someone else; they had already had this discussion, and both of them would be happy if the blond were to join their relationship; with each year that passed, their interest in the blond only continued to grow, but they had never said anything to their friend as all they wanted was for Bel to feel nothing but love and appreciation – and they had a feeling that if he were to be told, he would feel anything  _but_ loved.

Now was their time to  _show_ him, and to  _make_ him  _understand_ that if he wanted to, he could have two people who would give him everything and  _more_ he had been denied for so many years.

When Yamamoto broke the kiss to give his friend air, he brushed golden bangs away so he could look into wide purple eyes that were fixed on him with a look of fear and confusion. "Did you like that, Bel? You can say no if you didn't; I promise you can say no and we'll never do it again if that's the case."

Bel blinked. He licked at his lips again. "…"

Tsuna came to their sides now so he could wrap his arms around Bel's shoulders. He brushed their cheeks together before he said, "You know you can  _always_ speak your mind with us, Bel. Please understand that we kissed you because we  _love_ you, in a  _far_ more genuine way than Xanxus and the others ever gave you. We want only the best for you and for you to be happy, and only  _you_ know what makes you happy."

"…" Bel looked down and frowned as he shook his head. "...I… I am… always happy… when I am with everyone… Everyone… makes me happy… But… Kissing Takeshi… didn't make me more or less happy… It… I still felt the same… I felt scared and… and pressured… It wasn't unpleasant, but… It's scary for me…"

"Of course it's scary for you, and we all know the reasons for that." Yamamoto caressed his friend's cheek. He let the smaller male lean against him. "If that's how you felt, then let me tell you this, Bel; Tsuna and I are very happy for you to become our boyfriend, but we want you to think about it for as long as you need; we don't want you to say yes if you are doubting or don't want to, okay? This is your decision to make because it affects your happiness, and your happiness is very important to us. You can think for as long as you need, and we will never do anything again that will make you feel pressured. We won't kiss you, but if you want to kiss us, you can do so; that's completely fine with both of us."

Bel nodded. He knew he could trust their words. He tightened his hug briefly before he pulled away and gave one to Tsuna next. He was silent as he left the bathroom, feeling as if he had used all his strength for talking today. He went back to his spot on the end of Tsuna and Yamamoto's bed so he could finish watching the news. He wasn't hungry anymore because memories kept floating through his head, and he was powerless to stop the tidal wave of tears that rolled down his cheeks now.

It surely would be nice to have a boyfriend like how Tsuna and Yamamoto have each other, but Bel wasn't sure if he was ready; if he were to become someone's – anyone's, really – boyfriend, they would expect sex from him, and that was something he felt he couldn't give  _anyone,_ no matter who they were.

How could he give sex to someone else when he himself couldn't feel even the slightest desire to so much as pleasure himself? Did he even feel sexual need anymore? Not since he had been with Xanxus; not even so much as a wet dream or a random arousal.

Would Bel be expected to change all of this if he were to agree? He certainly hoped not; he didn't want to be treated any differently once he started a relationship with someone.

* * *

_“Ungh…  Ahh…” Bel’s eyes were shut tight as he turned his head to the side and moaned.  A thick string of saliva dribbled from the corner of his lip and onto the pillow he was resting on as he moved his hand down to touch soft silver strands between his legs.  His hips bucked slightly into the hot mouth surrounding him, but he couldn’t thrust as much as he wanted to as there was a tight grip on his hips holding him down.  “Squalo…  Nngh…”_

_Squalo hummed in response against the cock in his mouth as he lifted his gaze to look at Bel.  His own cock twitched in eagerness as he heard Xanxus grunt from somewhere next to them as the man watched the intimacy with his pants undone and his own engorged shaft in his hands.  He licked the underside of Bel’s dick as he lifted his mouth off and whispered, “Are you ready for me, baby?”_

_Bel nodded.  His cracked his good eye open and, from beneath his long bangs, regarded Squalo with a lusty expression as he whispered back, “I’m always ready for you, Squalo…”_

_Squalo sneered.  He lowered his face once again between Bel’s legs so he could lick at the puckered hole he knew so well.  His tongue circled around it for several seconds before he pushed his tongue inside and groaned quietly at the loud, pleased moan Bel made._

_“Get on with it, Squalo,” Xanxus grunted again._

_Squalo sniggered.  He pulled his tongue out so he could instead give Bel a deep kiss as he laid on top of the boy and poked himself at the warm entrance awaiting him.  The blond kissed back so passionately, he wrapped his arms around Squalo’s neck as he kissed and sucked and_ moaned _into the man’s mouth in unbridled love._

_“Nngh…” Bel tensed at the first intrusion, but he quickly relaxed; Squalo was going to make such great love to him, he wouldn’t have minded if it still hurt as much as it used to as long as he could share this experience with the long-haired man._

_Squalo kissed the corner of Bel’s mouth as he waited for the boy to adjust.  He moved his mouth so he could suck against the boy’s chin and then kiss his way down the younger’s neck and down to his shoulder where he could bite as hard and as much as he wanted to because no one else would ever know about the bruising as they were hidden away behind the younger’s clothing._

_“Squalo…” Bel’s eyes became half-lidded as he smiled up at the man.  He ghosted his fingertips against the other’s cheek as he whispered with a shy blush on his face, “You’re so big…”_

_Squalo chuckled.  He wouldn’t have minded spending more time using his mouth between Bel’s legs, but the boss was growing impatient, and there was always tonight where they could finish up what they had started._

_He waited until Bel nodded at him before he started moving in small, contained thrusts at first until he hit that spot the boy loved so much and he drew soft mewls of pleasure as Bel’s cock pulsed between their stomachs._

_“Squalo…  Ungn…  S-squalo…”_

_Squalo’s breathing was heavy as his thrusts remained slow and gentle.  His eyes stayed fixed on the body beneath him as he rocked Bel ever-so-gently with his movements.  He didn’t love Bel – at least, not like he loved_ Xanxus _.  He was so fucking head over heels for that man, he would have sucked off a fucking_ horse _if that was what his lover wanted from him._

_But Bel was different.  Xanxus was all fury and danger which was so enticing about him, but with Bel, he could take his time and let his passion out._

_“Squalo…  I-I’m getting close…” Bel’s eyes had closed again as he threw his hand back to rest by his head.  He used his other one to slide beneath their bodies and to his cock so he could wrap his spidery fingers around himself and pump in time to Squalo’s thrusts.  “I’m gonna come, Squalo…”_

_Squalo grunted.  He eyed his boss from the corner of his eye before he spoke in a voice heavy with lust.  “Tell Boss how you feel, Bel…”_

_Bel let out a loud moan as his hand moved faster along himself.  He licked his lips as he tried to gather his thoughts to tell Xanxus how much he loved this.  “Xanxus…  Xanxus-sama, I…  I’m gonna come everywhere…  I’m gonna…  I’m gonna squirt… all over Squalo’s stomach…  I can’t hold it in much longer, Xanxus-sama…!  I feel like my cock will explode any second now…!  I’m gonna squirt everywhere… I’m so full of cum…”_

_“Not before_ I _come, trash.” Xanxus growled._

_The blond’s pants came harder as he continued on.  “S-squalo is gonna fill me up so much, Xanxus…  I’m gonna be so full of Squalo’s cum…  I love it when he fills me up…  I’m gonna be so full, I’ll leak all over your bed…”_

_Bel’s eyes opened again as he heard the scarred man stand up.  He watched with glazed over eyes as Xanxus came to stand by the bed they were on and pump himself furiously until he had sprayed every drop of his cum over Bel’s body._

Bel screamed.  He sat upright in just one split second as his screaming continued.  He looked all around him as he searched for Xanxus, but still his screaming didn’t stop.

"Bel!"

Tsuna, who had stayed behind at the hotel with Bel as he slept while Yamamoto went and got lunch for them all, abandoned his work on the desk as he rushed to Bel's side. He clambered up onto the bed so he could grab the blond's shoulders and try desperately to bring him back to reality.

"Bel, look at me! You're safe! You're safe!"

Bel didn't know how long he had been screaming for until his throat was scratchy and hoarse. Tears continued to stream down his cheeks, but finally he recognised Tsuna by his side. He sobbed as he felt the younger take his hand. "T-tsu…na…"

"It's alright, Bel." Tsuna reached out to brush stray blond locks behind the smaller male's ear. "It's alright. You're safe. You're safe. What were you dreaming about? Do you want to talk about it?"

Bel shook his head. He laid back down when he felt strong hands push at his shoulders gently, and though it stressed him to lay like this where he would be powerless to stop himself being ravaged again, he knew he  _needed_ to trust Tsuna; he knew the brunet like he knew his own brother, and Tsuna  _wasn't_ like the others…

Tsuna pulled the blankets back up to Bel's chin. He tucked his friend in tight before he leant across the other to get the TV remote from beside him. He placed it into a shaking hand. "Why don't you watch TV, Bel? Give your mind a rest. I'm here if you need me, okay? I'm just at the desk, just like where I was when you fell asleep."

The blond nodded. He looked at the remote for several seconds before he laid it on his chest and sighed; did he really have the energy to flick through TV channels again…? "…"

Tsuna smiled as he slowly ran his hand through blond locks. "I'm going back to work now, but Yamamoto will be back very shortly with lunch. So try and get as much rest as you can; our meeting isn't far away now."

"T-tsuna…" Bel's hand moved of its own accord when the brunet got off the bed to leave him. He licked at his lips; what did he say? Why had he even stopped his friend in the first place…?

"Yes, Bel?" Tsuna was as patient as ever with the damaged male.

"…" Bel sighed. "…When… T-takeshi… Takeshi… He… He…"

"…"

Tears streamed down Bel's cheeks again as he tried to speak past the giant lump in his throat. "…S…Squ…"

"Take your time, Bel; I'm not going anywhere."

"…U-umm… S… Squalo… Squalo always… made love… to me… just like Takeshi… Takeshi was… to you…"

Tsuna frowned; he had no idea… "…"

"In my dreams, I… he made love to me again…" Bel wiped at his eyes. "Then… Then Xanxus came… M-making love is  _bad,_ Tsuna…"

The brunet shook his head. "Bel… There's nothing wrong with making love; I promise. We would… Yamamoto and I… We would make love to  _you_ if you ever wanted us to. But we won't; not until you ask for us to do it to you. And even if you never want to make love with us… We will still love you anyway, Bel. So please, try not to associate us with anything those people did to you; we aren't like them, Bel. We promise."

Bel shook his head. He sniffed as he looked away and whispered, "I never want to have sex again…"

The younger knew what the problem was; whether Bel had  _still_ been reliving his time with those…  _people_ or not in his sleep, seeing something that reminded him so much of what he had been put through must have been more triggering than he would probably ever know. It  _hurt_ to know Bel thought of them the same way as his assaulters, but what could he do? It wasn't  _Bel's_ problem he was suffering.

"I'm sure you don't, Bel – at least, not so soon." Tsuna sat back down on the bed. "But there's always the future. Please don't forget that Takeshi and I love you so very dearly, and we would  _love_  to have that experience with you and help you learn to enjoy it. We would  _never_ force you into it though, so don't be scared; we've loved you for so long, but we were afraid of hurting you if you ever found out so we kept it a secret. Nothing is going to change between us until  _you_ want it to."

Bel nodded. He dropped his hand back to his body as he let go of Tsuna. His eyes closed. "…Tsuna… Siel… Siel has sex, too… With Mammy… I-I've never… never seen them… Do you think… they maybe… make love, too…?"

"I have no idea, Bel; we've never spoken about anything like that. But I'm sure however they do it, they  _both_ want it to happen. So please, don't stress on it anymore for today; you're already exhausted from it all. Get some rest."

Bel nodded. "…"

Tsuna, again, got to his feet, but just like before, he was stopped by the blond grabbing his clothing. He gave an inward sigh; he loved Bel, but sometimes he was just so exhausting. "Yes, Bel?"

"…S-stay with me…? Until I fall asleep again…"

Tsuna nodded. "I'll just get all my papers and I'll be right back."

"Okay…"

Tsuna wasted no time in fetching his work, and once he had made himself comfortable by the blond, he wasn't surprised in the least when his friend rested his head against the younger's thigh. He smiled as he threaded his fingers absentmindedly through golden locks and focused on his work, and finally, after what must have been fifteen minutes or even longer, soft snores came from beside him as Bel finally fell back into slumber.

He knew he could return to the desk now where it was so much easier to work at, but he didn't move; he stayed by Bel's side, ready to be there as soon as the blond needed him.

Thankfully, Bel slept through his nap this time, and Tsuna couldn't have been more relieved for him.


	24. Chapter 24

It didn't take long for Tsuna and Yamamoto to finish with their business meeting, and now, on their way home, they had stopped for a coffee a few towns over. They sat in a quiet corner of the coffee shop, and Bel stared down at his hot chocolate as he was deep in thought. The younger two were talking amongst themselves, and the blond couldn't help but allow their voices to break his concentration; they both soothed him greatly, and he knew he owed them a great deal; he shuddered to think of where he could have ended up had Nana not taken him in after everything.

He lifted his head to look at Yamamoto. He licked his lips nervously. "Takeshi…"

Yamamoto hummed as he looked at his friend, as gentle as always. "What's wrong, Bel?"

Bel shook his head. He whispered, "I want to kiss with you…"

Yamamoto opened his arms in a welcoming manner so he could invite Bel close to him. "Come here, then, beautiful."

Bel blushed. His fingers twitched nervously, and he hesitated to get up; he was aware of all the other patrons behind him; he didn't want them to see how much he loved his friends because he knew nothing good would come out of it; he had seen how people treated Tsuna and Yamamoto for loving each other, and he didn't want them to treat him the same way.

"It's okay," Yamamoto reassured. He knew what was on Bel's mind; the blond was afraid of people hurting and rejecting him. …Abandoning him…

Bel wanted nothing more than to be loved and accepted, but his fear of others always held him back.

The blond finally got up and approached Yamamoto. He trembled slightly as he stood by the younger's side. He hesitated when the tallest of the trio gently tugged him down on his lap, but he calmed as strong arms wrapped around him and held him close.

"You don't have to worry about what everything else thinks, Bel." Yamamoto rested his hand against the smaller male's hip as he kissed Bel's forehead. "There will always be someone who thinks negatively of you, but that doesn't matter; what does matter is there are people who love you for who you are. Rasiel doesn't mind if you like boys, and I'm sure Mammon wouldn't mind, either. Gokudera and Fran, too."

Bel relaxed slightly. He knew that Yamamoto was right; the other had listed every person in his life that Bel loved. He rested his head against the younger's shoulder and tilted it slightly so he could look up into Yamamoto's face. "…Can… Can we… still…"

Yamamoto knew what the other was asking of him, so he lifted his hand up to cup Bel's warm cheek before he pressed their lips together. Bel was reluctant to open his mouth at first, but he soon gathered up the courage, knowing that this was how Yamamoto and Tsuna liked to kiss each other; surely the taller male wanted the same from him…?

Yamamoto was glad that his friend was allowing him to be so close, and though the blond's tongue wasn't retreating from his own today, the older male still wasn't reciprocating. That was okay; at least Bel was starting to trust him.

When they broke apart, Bel mumbled something before he hid his face against Yamamoto's chest. Tsuna smiled as he sipped at his tea before he asked, "Did you like that, Bel?"

Bel lifted his head to glance at the brunet. His cheeks were red, and there was a shy smile on his face. He didn't answer; he could only duck his head again.

"I think he did." Yamamoto threaded his fingers through soft golden locks. "He's very brave."

Bel didn't feel like moving from his friend's lap; he had exerted all his strength in kissing Yamamoto, and he couldn't possibly move back to his own seat now. He made himself comfortable as he closed his eyes and prepared for a nap, solaced by being so close to his friend. Yamamoto didn't mind holding him for the rest of their stay; all that mattered was that his friend was happy.

* * *

Bel pulled the key from his pocket and slipped it into the lock on the front door of his home. He opened the door and stepped inside with Yamamoto and Tsuna behind him. He waited until they had walked further into the house before he closed the door quietly and locked it. He followed his friends further inside until he had stepped into the living room and found Rasiel and Mammon on the couch together with Tsuna and Yamamoto standing before them as they spoke.

Rasiel looked back as he heard Bel enter the room, and he didn't waste any time in getting up and closing the distance between them so he could embrace his brother tight. He rested his chin on the younger's head and asked, "Did you have a good time?"

Bel nodded. He returned the hug as he looked at Mammon with uncertainty on his features. She was looking at him, but she hadn't said anything; what was she thinking, he wondered.

He turned away from the woman and watched as Tsuna approached him and his brother. He cocked his head; this was strange.

"Can I talk to you in private, Siel?" Tsuna smiled when he received a nod in response. He looked at Bel and said, "We won't be long."

Bel nodded. He watched them leave down the hallway before he went back to Yamamoto's side. He gave a relaxed sigh when strong arms wrapped around him and held him against the other's body. His eyes closed, and the comforting feel of his back against such a strong chest as he was rocked side to side was so soothing, he lifted his hand up to hold the sleeve of the man's shirt.

"What's Tsuna doing…?" Bel opened his eyes so he could look up at Takeshi.

Yamamoto brushed Bel's golden bangs from his eyes before he leant down and pressed his lips to the smaller male's cheek. "He's telling Rasiel about us so you don't have to."

Bel nodded. He was glad to have Yamamoto and Tsuna in his life; he loved them both so much, and he was happy they understood him so well; they always looked after him, making sure he was okay, and for that, Bel would forever be grateful. He grabbed the man's hand as he pulled away from the embrace so he could step back and look at his friend. "Takeshi…"

"Hmm?" Yamamoto moved his hand to rest against Bel's hip. He was glad the other didn't shy away; was it a sign of trust? "What's wrong?"

Bel's cheeks reddened. "…Can we… play some games…?"

"Of course." Yamamoto patted the older male's head. He sat down on the couch next to Mammon as he watched the blond bound over to the entertainment system on the other side of the room so he could set up one of the gaming consoles. The dark-haired man accepted the controller that was handed to him as Bel sat by his side.

They didn't get much further past the loading screen before Tsuna and Rasiel returned. Rasiel made his way immediately over to his brother so he could engulf his twin in a hug, but the younger wasn't fooled; this hug wasn't as tight as the ones he always received from the older male, so was he in trouble…? Was it bad for him to kiss Yamamoto…?

"Siel…?" Bel dropped his controller onto his lap so he could curl his fingers into the taller male's shirt. "Are… Are you mad at me…?"

"Of course I'm not." Rasiel ruffled his twin's hair. "I've told you before it's okay if you like boys, Belphegor. I'm not mad; you can like whoever you want. Just because I only like girls doesn't mean you must, as well."

Bel kissed his brother's cheek. "Love you, Siel…"

"I love you, too, Bel. Are you going to spend more time with Tsunayoshi and Takeshi today?"

"I want to do something with you now…"

Tsuna and Yamamoto both smiled. They knew how much Bel loved his brother, so it was expected he wanted to be with Rasiel after being away for the past few days. "We'll leave you alone with Siel, Bel. Have fun. We'll come back and see you soon."

Bel smiled shyly when he received kisses on the mouth from both of them; they made him feel so safe and relaxed, he could almost forget the constant agony that plagued him all day every day. "Bye-bii…"

Rasiel put his hand on his twin's shoulder. "Mammon and I were about to go into town and have lunch. Would you like to come with us, brother?"

Bel nodded. He got up to turn his game off. "I want sushi…"

The older blond chuckled; Bel would never know just how much he loved his brother. "Then we'll get sushi. Are you coming, Mammon?"

Mammon nodded. She closed the book she had been reading in silence so she could put it on the side table and stand up. She went to find her keys as Rasiel got his brother ready for their outing; she knew that Bel often faltered when it came to going outside. She couldn't blame him though; it would never be his fault.

* * *

Once the car was parked, Bel was hesitant to get out; it took some reassurance from Rasiel before he could do so, but finally, his feet made contact with the ground as the car door closed behind him.

"Bel, we have to stop by the general store and then find a toilet, okay?" Rasiel squeezed his brother's hand. "Then we'll have lunch."

"Okay." Bel gave a shy smile. He looked over to Mammon as he noticed just how quiet the woman was being; was she okay?

Bel also fell silent as they walked into the shop. He stayed close to his brother as they stopped by the registers so they could watch Mammon depart to find whatever she was looking for. It didn't take Bel long to figure out why they had made a detour, especially when the woman broke away so quickly the second they found toilets. He said nothing about it, though; he really didn't know  _what_ to say.

"I'm going to the toilet too." Rasiel patted his brother's arm as he sat the younger down on the park bench not far from the toilet blocks. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

Rasiel knew not to take long in the toilets; if he wasn't fast, Bel was going to fall into a panic at being left alone outside. With that in mind, he rushed himself at the urinal and cleaned his hands in record time. He smiled at Mammon as the woman waited outside for him and he leaned down to kiss her cheek; they must have timed it well to catch each other like this.

"Is Bel still in there?" Mammon gestured to the toilets.

"Bel didn't come in with me." Rasiel thought nothing of those words until he had looked over to where he had left Bel and found no one sitting there. Panic filled him as he looked around and found his beautiful brother was nowhere to be seen; why had the younger male wandered off? He had never done this before, and it filled him with dread to know Bel couldn't look after himself like this. "Bel? Bel!"

When his brother didn't come to his side, Rasiel felt as if he could die; he had lost his brother once, and he couldn't lose him again.


	25. Chapter 25

Bel whimpered as he was thrown onto the ground. He didn't know what had happened; just that, one minute he'd been waiting patiently for Mammon and Rasiel, and then the next, he had willingly wandered off with someone he had thought he'd never see again.

"You've done well today, trash."

Bel looked up at the familiar voice. Tears welled in his eyes; seeing Xanxus and Squalo standing by him sparked so many emotions within him, he couldn't possibly begin to disentangle them. On one hand, it was frightening to know he was back with the ones who had tortured him, but on the other, it brought him relief he wasn't sure he had ever felt, almost as if he had  _wanted_ this all along and hadn't even  _realised_. He knew how stupid it was of him to have missed Xanxus and the others; they had abandoned him and left him to die, but was it so bad he was sure he still had love in his heart for them? They  _had_ taken care of him eight years, and they hadn't treated him  _too_ badly… They just… They were just  _harsh_ on him because he deserved it… They loved him too; Xanxus had  _told_ him they loved him…!

"I'm surprised the little cocksucker hasn't killed himself yet."

Bel flinched when a scarred hand he knew all too well reached out to grab his hair. He tensed; he knew what was coming, and after all these years he still knew what to expect. He wasn't surprised by the hard punch to his jaw; he had been a bad boy for not coming back to them sooner; he  _deserved_ this punishment.

He cooperated as he was pulled to his feet and dragged into a room off to the side in the mansion he had been brought back to. He didn't question anything; he simply followed his abductor so he could show them how good he was now and that he didn't need to be punished all the time anymore.

He was going to make Xanxus proud of him; he was a good child, and he hoped Xanxus and Squalo would see that now.

Bel wasn't sure how long he had been locked away in the bedroom for, but he did know that since being thrown into it, he had only sat in one of the corners with his knees drawn to his chest; how long was he going to be in here for? Was he still being punished? He must be; maybe they were still mad at him for having never tried to find them again.

He wished he could fall asleep, but the anxiety was consuming him. He tried closing his eyes but the darkness only frightened him more so he opened them again and focused on the tiny pool of light that filtered through the tiny window just below the roof.

* * *

It could have been minutes or hours since Bel had been locked in here, but finally, when the door opened again, he looked back in eager anticipation of Xanxus; finally, he could show the other how much of a good boy he was now! Maybe it was wrong of him, but his heart broke when he realised it was only Lussuria – but  _why_ was it breaking? He loved Lussuria, too! …Right…?

"Sweetheart, why did you put yourself in this situation again…?" Lussuria stepped into the room so he could close the door behind him. "You know what this place is like… Please, go back home…"

Bel shook his head; how did he explain things? "…"

The man sighed as he knelt by Bel so he could wrap his arms around the blond. "You're too sweet for this life, Bel-chan… Please go back to where you were before now…"

Again, Bel remained silent. He couldn't find the strength to so much as look at the man; he just kept his eyes on his lap as his hands trembled in anxiety. Why was Lussuria doing this to him? Why was the man trying to confuse him as to what the right thing to do was? Did he go back to his brother, or did he stay here?

Why was it so hard to decide who he loved more…?

When the pool of light Bel had been so fascinated by disappeared and Lussuria was entering his room with a steaming hot bowl of ramen, the blond figured night must have fallen already. He didn't say anything as Lussuria sat next to him and begun feeding him; he only stared blankly at the wall opposite him.

"Bel-chan?" Lussuria lifted his hand to brush golden bangs away from Bel's face. He sighed when the other's purple eyes darted to the side to avoid eye contact. "Bel-chan, look at me, okay? Sweetheart, I'm going to get you out of here. You don't need to come back to this; anything is better than this. I promise you, I won't let them hurt you anymore than they already have; I'll get you out of here even if it kills me."

"…" Bel dropped his head once more. He didn't reply; he  _couldn't_. He felt as if he were back in that stage again, just after he had been abandoned and where he could hardly open his mouth, let alone speak to others.

"Bel-chan…" Lussuria held the blond tight as he hid his face against the top of Bel's head; he should have tried harder all those years ago to get Bel away, to make sure that Xanxus and Squalo would never find him again – and yet, here he was, trying desperately to think of how he could get the younger away before anything more happened to him.

Lussuria wanted nothing more than to help Bel, but how was he supposed to do that without getting them both killed? Surely there had to be a way…


	26. Chapter 26

It had taken only a few days for Lussuria to finally get through to Bel and convince him that he had to leave here, no matter what; it hadn't been easy, but at least the blond had finally listened. He was relieved to know that, so far, Xanxus and Squalo were far too preoccupied to have any time for anything but smacking the poor thing around; it meant that whatever progress Bel had made in the past ten years potentially hadn't been _completely_ ruined.

"Hey, Bel?" Lussuria stepped into Bel's room. He sighed as the found the younger curled up in the corner once more, trying to fight away the aggressive chill of that night. "We're leaving, Bel-chan."

Bel lifted his head. He wasn't sure that he wanted to leave Xanxus and Squalo, but he did know he wanted to see his brother again. He said nothing as he reached out and gripped the man's sleeve tight. He was anxious again as he thought about how much trouble he was going to be in if they were caught escaping, but Lussuria had promised him that his abductors didn't feel the same way about Bel and that he would be best off far away from there – that he had promised Squalo and Xanxus were only using him, and once they had gotten bored of him again, they  _would_ kill him, exactly what they were  _so_ close to having done ten years ago, and  _would_ have done had the cops not shown up.

"Let's get going, Bel-chan. They're distracted, so this is our best chance." The man took the blond's shaking hand so he could tug the younger up from the floor. "If we hurry, they won't notice us."

Bel allowed himself to be tugged along. He stumbled at the quick pace Lussuria had; he wasn't used to moving so fast. He whimpered as he heard a door slam somewhere behind them, and as he looked over his shoulder, he found Levi glaring after them with an infuriated look that twisted his features into an ugly sneer.

Lussuria frowned as he stopped running. He tried to hide Bel behind him, but he knew it was no use; they had been caught, and Levi wasn't going to let this go. "Levi… Let us leave…"

"Boss!" Levi shouted at the top of his lungs as he rushed at the two to stop them from leaving. He knew how happy Xanxus was going to be with them if he could prevent it; to get his boss' approval, he would do anything. "Boss, the whore's running away!"

Lussuria knew he couldn't let anyone hurt Bel, so he pushed the blond away from him as he turned to look at the younger male. "Bel-chan, go hide where we spoke about, okay? If I don't come back to you in an hour, run as far away as you can. Go!"

Bel didn't need to be told twice; he ran as fast as he could as he fled the mansion and made his way to the park he had been instructed to go to if they were separated. He was unaware of the tears that ran down his face; his mind was so chaotic, he didn't even know what he was thinking about. All he knew was that he hoped Lussuria was going to be okay and would come back for him – unlike last time.

* * *

Bel rocked himself slowly on the swing as he scuffed his boot against the dirt sadly. His head hung low as he held both ropes. He was starting to lose hope of Lussuria coming back, and it wasn't that the other  _couldn't_ make it back; it was that he  _didn't want_ to make it back.

He sighed. He was about to get up and make his way back to Rasiel's alone, but he froze when he heard footsteps stumble closer; were they Xanxus' or Squalo's…? Had they found him, and was he going to be punished for running away…? He felt himself tear up at the possibility, and he braced himself for the worst.

"Bel…"

His head snapped up at Lussuria's weak voice. He watched as the other limped towards him as he held his stomach. He sounded as if he were in pain, and it had the blond scrambling to his feet to make sure that his friend was okay.

Lussuria smiled as a small hand rested on top of his. His body shook from the extent of his wounds; it had been one hell of a fight, but he had somehow managed to keep them distracted and then slip away amongst the fray. "I'm okay, Bel-chan… You're so sweet."

Bel didn't say a word as he turned around so he could pull Lussuria's arm over his shoulders and help walk the other to Rasiel's. He was too scared to say anything, but he knew they had to get there fast before Xanxus or Squalo found them again.

He was careful not to push Lussuria too much; he was frightened by the whole situation, but he still knew he had to be gentle with the other in this moment as Lussuria had always been with him. He didn't know how badly the man was hurt, and he couldn't risk causing any more damage.

Bel hoped Rasiel was going to be proud of him tonight, and that thought alone encouraged him to continue their pace; anything to see his brother again.

* * *

"Have any leads been found?"

In the living room of Rasiel's home, everyone sat around as stressed consumed them. Gokudera and Yamamoto were both leaning against the wall with their arms folded against their chests as Rasiel and Mammon sat on the couch closest to them. Tsuna was pacing back and forth as he dragged his fingers repeatedly through his messy brunet locks; it had been over a week since Bel had gone missing, and it didn't look as if they were any closer to finding him.

"No, Tsuna; the police weren't even going to look for him until I told them about his mental health…" Rasiel wiped at his damp eyes; he couldn't cry now… He clutched at his face desperately as he fought against his emotions. "Even now they  _still_ say he's wandered off somewhere and gotten lost… Someone  _took_ him; Bel doesn't go  _anywhere_ unless I'm with him… But the police refuse to consider that because he's twenty-six!"

"We'll find him, Siel," Tsuna promised. He wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure his twin or himself more. "I know Bel doesn't wander, but on the off-chance he did, I know he'll find his way home; he's too smart to stay lost for long."

Rasiel wished those words could do something for him, but they didn't; all he could think about was someone having taken his brother and what could possibly have been done to him. He felt as if he had failed Bel, having promised his twin he would never let anyone hurt him again, and yet…

"Someone's at the door."

Rasiel snapped out of his thoughts at Yamamoto's voice. He stood up to answer the door, but before he could even walk out of the room, the doorknob was turned and the door swung open. He froze; he knew he should be intercepting whoever dared invite themselves into his home, but he couldn't; he desperately wanted to believe it was Bel.

As if his prayers had been answered, when the intruder stepped into the light of the living room, Bel's thin form was exposed to them all, and the living room filled with simultaneous sounds of relief.

"Bel!" Yamamoto was quick to approach the older male so he could take the injured man hanging off the blond's shoulder; Bel was so very frail, and it must have taken a lot of energy and effort for the younger twin to have gotten someone here by himself like this; whoever this person was must mean something to the twin. "Bel, where have you been?!"

Bel didn't say anything; he only ducked his head as Yamamoto took Lussuria over to the couch where Tsuna went to join him to address the visible wounds.

"Brother, what happened?!" Rasiel felt as if he could cry as he came to Bel's side and lifted his twin's head so he could frown at all the cuts and bruises and  _swelling_ on his precious twin's face. "Who did this to you…?"

Bel shook his head. He pulled away from Rasiel and went to Lussuria's side as well.

"It was Xanxus."

Everyone looked over at Mammon as her icy tone echoed throughout the living room. "Mammon…?"

"That's Lussuria. I know him well. He would have gotten hurt trying to get Bel away." Mammon looked to Bel as her eyes searched for obscured ones. "Am I right, Bel?"

Hesitantly, Bel nodded. He reached down to fumble with his thumbs. "…"

"Lussuria, are you okay?" Mammon joined everyone else over with Lussuria.

Lussuria nodded weakly. Now that he was within the bright light of the living room, Bel could see that his hands and clothing were stained in a puddle of blood. "I am… I finally got away from them… I had the cops called… I left before they could arrest me, too… I had to make sure… that Bel-chan was okay…"

Rasiel didn't know what to make of the situation, but from what he was hearing, it sounded as if the man had helped Bel, and if that was the case, the blond was truly thankful; he shuddered to think of what would have happened to Bel had the other not been there. "…"

"Siel." Mammon put her hand on her friend's shoulder. She waited until Rasiel was looking at her before she spoke again. "Let Lussuria stay here for the time being. If Xanxus and the others get released, they won't stop looking for him until they can find him and kill him."

Rasiel frowned. He looked at Bel, and it broke his heart to see the way his brother was hugging Yamamoto's arm so desperately, as if it were all he could do to secure himself mentally. He looked back to Mammon. "And what if he leads them to Bel, Mammon?"

"It won't make a difference; they'll be looking for Bel, too."

"How do you know all this?" Gokudera pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He shook one out as he continued. "How can we even trust  _you?_ Funny you kept all of this hidden from us until  _this_ happens."

"I know this because I once was associated with them all." There was a bitterness in her voice Rasiel had never heard before. Her hands bunched into fists so tight, her knuckles went white. "I left the group when I heard Xanxus had plans to kidnap a child."

"You knew who had kidnapped Belphegor all along, and you never said anything…?" Suddenly, Rasiel was full of doubt; was his girlfriend who she had said she was…?

Mammon shook her head. "I knew that Squalo had kidnapped a child, but I had no idea Bel's abduction was connected – I didn't even know that Xanxus' group was in Japan until tonight; I believed they were still in Italy, which is why I moved here; like Lussuria will now have, there has been a hit out on me for a very long time."

Rasiel truly didn't know how to answer to that; there was so much in his mind he needed to know, needed to  _ask,_ but where did he  _begin…?_

"What are we going to do about this guy?" Yamamoto cocked his head at Lussuria.

"I'll take him to the hospital and deal with everything on his end tonight. This is all my fault; I should have acted the second I knew of Xanxus' plans all those years ago, but instead I ran away. I was selfish, and look what has happened because of it. Tonight, I make things right."

Bel remained glued to Yamamoto's arm. He was frowning, unable to process the past week, and it made it hard for him to feel much emotion; he didn't know how he was supposed to feel about everything that had happened, and all he wanted to do was sit here so that his mind could work through everything slowly.

Rasiel knelt before his brother. "I think you should get some sleep, Bel. Want to lay down together?"

Bel nodded. He changed his grip from Yamamoto to Rasiel as he held his brother's arm tight while they walked. He didn't hear the younger trio talking amongst themselves about saying here in case something further was to happen; all he knew was that, suddenly, he was laying on his brother's futon with strong arms wrapped around him and holding him tight.

He closed his eyes; finally… he could sleep again…


	27. Chapter 27

The next afternoon, Bel awoke with a clearer mind. He yawned and stretched as he looked at the alarm clock beside him, surprised he had slept in so late; why hadn't anyone woken him? He stood up so he could leave the room and wander in search of his brother. He entered the living room.

"Hey, Bel."

Bel blinked at everyone in the living room, almost looking as if they had been waiting for him. He cocked his head to the side as he moved to sit on his brother's lap. He looked around and frowned as he found Lussuria was seated on one of the other chairs opposite them with his arm in his sling.

"Lussu…" Bel reached towards the older male. He knew Lussuria had gotten hurt trying to protect him, so why did it make him feel so warm inside? Was it because, for whatever reason the man had abandoned him for ten years ago, Lussuria had come back to him and made up for betraying him…? "…"

Lussuria also donned a frown. He stood up so he could close the distance between them and pull the smaller male into a one-armed hug. "I'm so glad you're safe, Bel-chan… Xanxus and Squalo will never hurt you again; I promise. They've finally been caught, and they're going to be punished for what they've done to you. You're safe now."

Bel let his tears slide down his cheeks. He couldn't describe how light he felt upon hearing those words; for so many years he had blamed himself, hated himself, and confused himself further whenever he reflected on his childhood. He had tried multiple times to kill himself, had taken blades to his wrists and dug in deep enough to leave scars that would never fade. He had cried so many times, and hadn't left the house often because he was afraid of Xanxus finding him alone. He had cursed and screamed and his own hand had once repeated the vicious cycle, but no matter what, he had never been able to find peace of relief from the agonising war that raged in his head daily.

To hear that he was finally getting justice… To know that none of it was his fault that it was  _theirs_ for everything they had done to him and led him to believe…

"Lussu…?" Bel wiped at his eyes. "…Lussu, when… When you left me… The first time… Why did… Why was I abandoned…?"

Lussuria felt tears of his own well up in his eyes as he shook his head. "Sweetheart… Sweetheart, if it were up to me, I would  _never_ have left you behind… I wanted to rescue you, and do whatever I could for you and to ease your pain, but… Xanxus would have killed me had I disobeyed… I'm so sorry, Bel-chan… I don't know how things have been for you since you got away from us, but I'm sure you've been happy now… I'm… I'm glad you got out of the situation; I couldn't have watched you suffer that way for much longer…"

"You didn't lie to me…?" Even in a whisper, the choked tone gave away Bel's agony; his deepest fears. "You… I thought… I thought you had hated me… That I had done something wrong, and… I… Lussu… I thought you betrayed me…"

"Never, Bel-chan… Never…"

Bel curled his fists tightly into Lussuria's shirt as he allowed himself to cry his pain out. "Don't leave again, Lussu… I don't want you to go again… You were the first friend I ever had… Don't go… Don't go…"

"I won't, Bel-chan… I won't go anywhere…" Lussuria knew it was natural for Bel to be in so much pain at hearing this, so he stayed with the younger and held him tight.

"Are you okay, brother?" Rasiel threaded his fingers through Bel's hair. He hated seeing Bel like this, but he knew that this wasn't just pain and suffering his twin was shedding; the younger had been told the truth, and his beliefs in what had happened that night had finally been corrected. Weight had been lifted off him, and he had finally found the missing pieces of the puzzle; Bel had never had closure of any of that until now, and he had lived his life in fear and pain because he hadn't gotten any justice. The younger twin had been through so much, believing everything to be his fault and wanting to die from the crushing weight, but now…

Now Bel could finally put himself at ease and learn to breathe again. Maybe Bel would never be the same as he was before the initial kidnapping; maybe there would always be days where the suicidal behaviour, the cutting and the trauma overwhelmed him, and perhaps he would always have fear in the back of his mind, but at least now Bel could finally get what he needed in order to heal.

"It's okay, brother," Rasiel whispered. "It's okay."

"Siel…" Bel wiped at his tears. "I'm alright, Siel… I'm… I'm kind of happy… They aren't getting away with it anymore…"

"Of course not, brother." Rasiel kissed the younger's cheek. He knew to hold his twin for as long as he had to; he couldn't leave Bel alone with something like that, and he had every intention of helping Bel heal as best he could.

Maybe it wasn't just the fact that Bel was hearing this from Lussuria; maybe the reason Bel could begin living again was because he had finally faced his demons once more and had  _survived_. He hadn't been broken again; he had somehow found the strength to get through it with just a bit of shock, and to come out on top.

Rasiel had always known Bel was strong; it had always just been a matter of finding a way to get Bel to see that for himself, too.


End file.
